21 Things Every Cincinnati Reds Fan Knows To Be True

Besides that this year is totally our year.

1. The Big Red Machine was The Greatest Team In the History of Sportinghood

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2. Joey Votto doesn’t get paid to walk

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Ball four, biatch.

3. This Guy deserves a second chance

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Hey there sexy. Looks like you dropped your helmet back there.

4. From the late 90’s to the mid 2000’s, we had the folksiest TV crew in sports

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This pic is a dandy.

5. Aroldis Chapman is totally going to start next year. I mean the year after that. I mean.

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Then maybe he’ll somersault after every inning.

6. You cannot handle this picture.

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Joe. Marty. Turf.

7. We have the best bat boy-related stories in sports

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8. You know what “WLB” means

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Willy Loves Baseball? Why Leave Baltimore? We may never know.

9. The Toothpick.

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Also wristbands.

10. Brandon Phillips is just ridiculous

Ridiculous.

11. 2000-2008 is a dark time we do not discuss

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Hey Adam, what if we didn’t win any games this decade? Wouldn’t that be hilarious?

12. Billy Hamilton is the fastest man alive

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Not even close.

13. Buster Posey still haunts your nightmares

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I stayed in bed for about a week after this.

14. This is what manhood looks like

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15. You know the difference between the old left-hander and the crafty left-hander

That goatee is so crafty.

16. You know who the real mayor of Cincinnati is

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No election required.

17. Every struggle is titanic

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18. And when it feels like everything’s going wrong

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19. Like we’ll never get over the hump

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20. One thing makes you feel a little better

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21. We’re not the Cubs.

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And thank goodness for that.

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