1. Reason #1 Your Profile Picture Sucks
It reeks of desperation…
lets face it, you will never be as cool as this…
Its really you… but remember the goals here… attracting the opposite sex.
6. Reason #2 Your Profile reads like a never ending resume
8. Reason #3 Your profile reads like a never ending wish list
This reason is a corollary to reason #2…
While you were writing this Snuffleupagus size list of wants, you’ve said zero about who YOU are…
Even Santa won’t put up with your shit.
Theres simply not enough time in the day to read about the 300 things you want in a man…
10. Reason #4 You aren’t ready
You were never in a financial/ psychological/ emotional place to be dating in the real world… Why should the internet be different?
12. Reason #5 You may be unattractive to most people
What genetics didn’t give you, hopefully you’ve picked up the charisma, and bank account to counterbalance mother nature and your anatomically anomalous attributes.
13. Reason #6 You have the personality of a pet rock
So you thought having a minimalist profile was mysterious? Or did you feel too good for online dating to write something about yourself…
Perhaps your profile is spacious, but what you ARE writing speaks volumes.
14. Reason #7 You are seeking approval
You should ooze confidence, and yet you are unleashing an approval seeking pseudo-self upon the internet.
15. Reason #8 You are coming off as creepy
The general package you are presenting is weirding people out… People are shuffling through hundreds of profiles and will dismiss you in an instant based on first impressions.
16. Reason #9 The messages you are concocting
They are weird, creepy, offensive, desperate… And when you are confronted on their strangeness you become aggressive.
… also the general speed in which you dish out these strange messages. YOU have no chance with the shotgun copypasta approach. This is not duck hunt.
20. Reason #10 You are hiding something
Everyone is hiding something. But perhaps this something is just too big…