Groupon Advertises Certified Creep Service For $100

“Ben’s sinewy, well-groomed fingers delicately raise each sheet and blanket over your body until you’re comfortably bundled”

Groupon has just released an online deal for a “tuck-in service”. While this could look absolutely like a secret pedophiliac service, luckily they advertise this for only those over 18 years old. As of 6/5/12 just after midnight, 2 have been purchased.

Just a few interesting tidbits about this service:

“Services may be refused for health or safety reason.”

I suppose some bedbugs or naked sleepers could be a reason to turn down this service?

“Careful not to disturb any children who may be in the adjacent room, Ben leans in and uses his summer-breeze-like voice to gently sing you one of the five lullabies he has authored.”

This sounds more like a Krampus than a Rip Van Winkle.

“Once your body temperature has fallen and your breathing has slowed, Ben and his legally required entourage of two or three companions will slip soundlessly out the front door and into the night.”


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