Hell yes women are filthier than men in public restrooms. Most of my teenage years I spent cleaning loos in various part time jobs and I was totally sickened at what some women do in there. And it was never repeated in men’s rooms. Women can be vile.

I’m 31 and the last time I used a floppy disk was aged 12 for school projects.

“In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to good morals than to great abilities.” Gulliver’s Travels.

Lose the diet part and this is me.

Jaws quote… Clerks- dur dur, dur dur Salsa shark. We’re gonna need a bigger boat!

And how very dare you insult the Big Yin. Giz ya drunk patter, Billy! Think I long to be Scottish in my heart. I love Scottish comedy big time, Naked video, rab c, chewin the fat, the high life, limmy’s show, burnistoun for real! And I lie here watching the best of all, Still Game!

We used to get Irn Bru in McDonalds here in Newcastle years back. Bums me they don’t anymore, I just had a can yesterday for the first time in ages I totally forgot how lush it is

Ah! Select and sky magazine how I miss thee. Justine Frischmann was amazing I had my hair cut like hers in high school. And I fucking adore that Marilyn Manson pic I had torn that out of a magazine to use to cover my geography book whilst other people put shitty wallpaper cut offs on theirs

Every time I played my brother had to be the car and no one could purchase any of the dark blue or green properties. And if you did then whatever other people were collecting he bought until it just became pointless to carry on and the board and pieces got chucked on the floor and then we would throw all the money around pretending it was grab a grand from Noel’s House Party. I’m 31 and never finished a game

Wish someone would chuck a tennis ball with razor blades stuck in it