sayitwithbacon

12 Things Every Father Needs To Get This Father’s Day

And only one of them’s a tie. Sometimes words just aren’t enough to tell the father in your life how much he means. Say it with taste. Say it with elegance. Say It With Bacon.

1. For the father that likes to keep things classy.

Man Candles from scent super-sellers Yankee Candle come in such mouth-watering aromas as “Movie Night,” “Touchdown,” “Man Town,” and, obviously, “Mmm, Bacon!”

2. For the dad who brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “drinking game.”

Finally, a gadget that combines every man’s two main loves: thumb-blistering arcade games and ice-cold draft beer. The Arkeg is a father’s day masterwork gifted from on high.

3. For the dad who has impeccable taste. Literally.

Nothing says you’re a rockstar kid-raiser like bacon — especially exceptional bacon packaged like jewelry from Oscar Mayer.

4. For the jet-setting dad who doesn’t want to leave his lawn.

That’s right: someone’s created a way to let your dad lounge in a lawn chair and survey everything inside his property line at the same time. And the best part? You can build this dad-friendly hoverchair all by yourself.

5. For the father who’s so sweet you could just eat him up.

What says “thanks for being a caring, loving father” quite like a an edible gummy replica of your dear ol’ pop? Nothing, really, and the innovators of edible ingenuity over at FabCafe have, by way of 3D body scanning tech, concocted a way to turn the father in your life into a bite-sized confectionary treat. Delicious.

6. For the father who takes that “Grillmaster” apron a little too seriously.

Real talk: nine out of ten family gathering fist-fights are direct results of under or overcooked meat. Grill Charms are a sleek and simple solution to the confusion that comes from cookouts. Stick a handful of these tiny steel charms into the steaks or burgers on offer and never worry about mixing up your orders again.

7. For the refined father with a sweet tooth.

You never really outgrow candy. And it’s impossible to outgrow bacon. So why not combine the best of both worlds? Bacon lollipops are exactly what they sound like: porcine confections with chunks of savory bacon flavoring crystallized throughout. Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world…

8. For the dad who likes to think he’s a latter-day Hemingway.

Oh, what’s that? Your dad has a stuffed deer head hanging over the fireplace? That’s cool. I guess I never told you about the time my dad took down a freakin’ t-rex and then mounted it’s head as a trophy right next to the family portrait.

9. Or the pacifist pop who wouldn’t hurt a fly but still wants to show off.

It’s true: cardboard big game trophies are the new real big game trophies.

10. For the dad who likes to take his jams on the open road.

And you thought you escaped your father’s impromptu Eddie Money covers when you moved out. Wrong again, friend.

11. Or the musically-inclined father who’s too clever for his own good.

You weren’t planning on getting your pop a tie, were you? If you’re gonna go that route, then at least do it right. How about a piano tie that’s an actual piano?

12. For the dad who’s quick on the draw.

Your dad’s got stuff to do, places to be, and things to hold. So why not alleviate some of that stress with a set of slick leather beer holsters. One side holds his booze, the other stealthily stores his credit cards and a bit of cash. Sorry, wallet — you’ve just been out wallet-ed.

Give the world’s most tasteful gift.

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