1. Harry Potter = Blue Ivy Carter
The Chosen One.
2. Ron Weasley = Adele’s Baby Boy
Our favorite British redhead (that’s not Prince Harry) won’t let her fame get in the way of her love for food and running her mouth. If her son takes after his mum they might as well get him a Weasley sweater for his first birthday.
3. Hermione Granger = The Royal Baby
Well-mannered, eloquent, educated, and posh. Are we talking about Miss Granger or the soon to be spawn of Will & Kate? EXACTLY.
Predictions of how the Royal Baby will look aren’t promising. But don’t be worried Mum & Dad, Hogwarts’ resident book-worm transformed into a beautiful butterfly.
5. Draco Malfoy = Barron Trump
Donald Trump is Republican. Lucius Malfoy is DEFINITELY Republican.
6. Cedric Diggory = Romeo Beckham
These attractive, athletic, and British ladies’ men sure look good in designer suits.
7. Neville Longbottom = Baby Kimye
What’s Kim Kardashian famous for? Her LONGBOTTOM. But seriously, this baby could have been “The Chosen One.” If only Kanye would have picked a mate that was better than Beyonce. JUST KIDDING THAT DOESN’T EXIST.
9. Ginny Weasley = Violet Affleck
Parents Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner do their best to raise Violet in a “normal” environment. With a good head on her shoulders and that cute face there is no doubt that Violet (like Ginny) will have her choice of Hogwarts’ men.
10. Fred & George Weasley = Abel & Archie Arnett
Brought into this world by Amy Poehler and Will Arnett, The Brothers Arnett are shoe-ins for the “Class Clown” and “Dynamic Duo” yearbook superlatives. Yes, they get both.
11. Luna “Looney” Lovegood = Bear Blu Jarecki
Alicia Silverstone feeds son Bear by pre-chewing his vegan meals for him. If this continues during snack time and lunch at school, the nickname “Looney” is a best case scenario.
12. Cho Chang = Suri Cruise
Cho’s womanizing ways are a red flag for daddy issues. Suri’s dad….
14. Dobby & Kreacher = Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen
They’re so cold. All the time.