23 Reasons You’re A Terrible Person

It’s not so terrible to be terrible.

1. You pretend to hold the elevator when someone asks you to.

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2. You can’t name any of your Senators, but you can name all of your Real Housewives.

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3. You don’t warn people about stuff like this.

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4. This is practically an instinct when you see someone from work outside of work.

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5. And this is how you handle seeing an ex.

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6. You never refill the Brita after you drink from it.

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7. When you stink up a room you blame it on someone else.

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8. You post spoilers on Facebook literally the second something important happens on a show.

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9. You’re not always happy for your friends.

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10. In fact, you can’t even pretend to be happy for certain people.

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11. You walk a block ahead of people already hailing taxis so that you get picked up first.

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12. You literally don’t know what to do with other people’s emotions.

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13. This is how your boyfriend/girlfriend want to spend time together.

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But you’re more like…

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14. This is how you tell people you keep up with the news…

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15. But it’s actually more like…


Which is cool, just don’t front.

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16. This makes you laugh.

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17. Permanent bitchy resting face.

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18. You HATE when people jwalk! Unless, of course, it’s you.

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19. Your selfies are more often unironic than not.

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20. You sit like this on the train so no one sits next to you.

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21. You never order your own french fries.

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22. You leave the toothpaste like this.

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But don’t worry.

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See you in hell :)

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