1.
First thing's first: Once you find a suitable apartment, a broker will take your entire life savings.
2.
But you'll live off $1 slices for the next couple months to make up for it.
3.
Your apartment will be the SMALLEST.
4.
Your roommates will be the pits.
5.
You'll spot a cockroach (or four), and maybe a lil mouse family.
6.
You will have to lug your heavy laundry bag over a block to the laundromat in the heat of the summer.
7.
Your bedtime ritual will turn into inspecting your sheets for bed bugs.
8.
You'll use the phrase "I walk everywhere so I don't need to work out" on a daily basis.
9.
You'll find yourself not sure if it's raining, or if it's just a leaky AC dripping onto your freshly washed hair.
10.
Slowly but surely you'll get used to the unwritten rules of the subway.
11.
You'll have zero shame ducking into a clothing rack when you spot an ex.
12.
After your shopping, you'll have to drag the heavy bags up your 5th-floor walk-up.
13.
Just when you think you're finally desensitized to the awful smells, you'll stumble upon the dreaded empty train and immediately pass out.
Soon, nothing will phase you.
14.
And you'll find normalcy in spending $15 on a salad...
15.
...barging your way through a swarm of pigeons and not flinching...
16.
...and not allowing yourself to be recklessly pushed around while walking through Midtown.
17.
Hailing a cab will become second nature.
18.
Your friends from home will think "you've changed."
19.
You'll have days when you absolutely hate it and want out forever.
20.
But after a few years, you'll realize that there's no place you'd rather be.
21.
Because the moment you leave for more than a week, you'll find yourself missing it so hard and counting down the minutes until you return.
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