“You think you’re ready to call the President of France? Well, you’re not even ready to call the President of The Hair Club for Men! Five more laps. MOVE!”
“…so in the debate you’ll be like: ‘Mitt, you were the CEO, the Chairman, the President, the sole stockholder, and a Managing Director … but you had nothing to do with it?’”
“Pssst, Harry, off the record: I heard last night that Romney didn’t pay for ten beers of Axe’s. Stuck him with the check—unbelievable.”
“You’ve got a fauxhawk that— You didn’t style that! Somebody else made that happen.”
Barack Obama is willing to listen to Mark Warner’s ideas, but Tim Kaine is frickin’ skeptical.
“First person to get cake on the other’s face wins. Ready GO!”
“Ma’am, I’m the leader of the free world. Are you meeting someone more important later today?”
A Jumbotron kiss delights Biden so much he has to steady himself.