37 Outrageous Things You Will See At Every Quinceañera

So. Many. Dances.

1. The Quinceañera wearing a bright, large, and spectacular dress.

Flickr: cmichel67 / Creative Commons

But extremely uncomfortable.

ID: 3437181

2. El sonidero who keeps interrupting his own music by mumbling some random DJ stuff into a microphone every 10 seconds.

::music plays:: –Estamos celebrando– ::music plays:: –el cumpleanos– ::music plays:: –de la– ::music plays:: –Quinceañera– ::music plays:: FML!!!

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Totally sucks for the people eating right next to the speakers.

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4. Fog machines.

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5. Obnoxious multi-colored disco lights.

Flickr: nikonlarry / Creative Commons
ID: 3437048

6. “Amor Eterno” as the default soundtrack for the father/daughter dance. EVERY TIME.

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7. People GETTING DOWN on the dance floor to some Sonora Dinamita.

Flickr: 36153401@N08 / Creative Commons

This is the night you learn your 65-year-old tio could WORK. THAT. ASS.

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8. The musical switch between cumbias and merengue to hip-hop and bumpin’ and grindin’ jams.

Because, you know…teenagers.

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9. Coditos and beans SOMEHOW make their way onto your plate.

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10. “Quinceañera” will always be playing at the reception:

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11. Your mom always wants you to take the recuerdo home.

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12. Chambelanes who are clearly over it.

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13. So. Much. Hairspray.

Flickr: lindseykone / Creative Commons
ID: 3437081

14. That uncle who totally nailed this whole fashion thing.

Flickr: wneuetc / Creative Commons
ID: 3437082

15. Someone’s cute little brother who dominated men’s fashion.

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16. An oversized tacky limo.

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17. Videographers who record pretty much EVERYTHING.

Flickr: hamsters / Creative Commons


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18. Photographers who will take a million photos that will wind up in a binder somewhere.

Flickr: theeerin / Creative Commons

You will never see them again.

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19. Photo op in front of a church.

Flickr: eneas / Creative Commons
ID: 3437100

20. Photo op with a priest.

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21. Photo op in front of a random fountain in a park.

Steve Browne & John Verkleir/ Flickr: proxyindian
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Or a bridge.

Alfredo Armendariz/ Flickr: alfredsphotolive
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22. Photo op with EVERY SINGLE padrino and madrina.

Flickr: 36153401@N08 / Creative Commons

Note: There’s a padrino and madrina for absolutely everything including HER SHOES.

ID: 3437106

23. Photo op with that cousin, who for some reason, feels the urge to throw up a gang sign.

Flickr: cayobo Creative Commons

Because your cousin’s Quinceñera photo op is CLEARLY the time to “represent.”

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24. Never-ending kisses on the cheek at the reception.

Flickr: cayobo / Creative Commons

When your mom says you gotta say “thank you” to everyone, she means it.

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25. A giant meringue cake.

Christian Frausto Bernal/ Flickr: cfrausto

Because quantity does not always equal quality.

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26. These balloon thingies.

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27. Mole.

Jay Galvin/ Flickr: jaygalvin
ID: 3437120

28. Little children running around the dance floor being a bunch of mocosos dando un chingo de lataiHIJOS DE SU MADRE! iAHORITA VAN A VER!

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29. Cute toddlers dancing with their tios on the dance floor.

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30. The dreaded “waltz portion” of the reception where the Quinceañera dances choreographed routines with her damas and chambelanes.

Real talk: NO ONE enjoys this.

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31. Forced traditions like the father awkwardly changing the Quinceanera’s high heels to signify the “transition into womanhood.”

Flickr: cfrausto / Creative Commons


ID: 3437126

32. You’ll see the Quinceañera awkwardly lifted in the air because why the fuck not.

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33. The part of the night where EVERY SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER waltzes with the Quinceañera.

If you got at least hundred people, and each dance lasts 30 seconds – DO THE MATH.

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34. A “baile sorpresa” where the Quinceañera gets all “sexy” and dances to Pitbull or Bachata.

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35. Quinceañeras who are just OVER IT.

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36. The comadres who like to talk shit and say their daughter’s Quinceañera was better.

Flickr: elgobernadorjalisco / Creative Commons
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37. Tears in everyone’s eyes when the parents deliver the “thank you” speech to their daughter.

Seriously, this is the most beautiful moment of the night. After this, your friends and relatives will hit the dance floor and get crazy drunk. It’s baller.

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