The date is June 28, 1998. It’s Mankind vs. The Undertaker in a “Hell in a Cell” match at WWE’s King of the Ring pay-per-view.
They got some beef and they’re going to beat the crap out of each other.
So, what exactly is a “Hell in a Cell” match? Well, it’s like an ordinary wrestling match but the ring is enclosed in a FUCKING STEEL CAGE with a lovely roof on top.
Back then, the cage was 16 feet high (this is super important) and weighed over two tons.
Without further ado, HELL:
1. From the very beginning, Mankind climbs his way up to the roof of the cage.
2. Upon seeing Mankind up on the roof, Undertaker’s like, “Aight. Let’s do this” and also climbs to the roof of the cage.
Things are definitely starting out interesting.
3. So the match “commences” up on the roof. The two are battling it out with punches and chairshots. Normal wrestling stuff.
This was not a match for those with legit fear of heights.
4. Two minutes go by when this unforgettable moment happens:
“GOOD GOD, ALMIGHTY! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! HE KILLED HIM! AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, HE’S BROKEN IN HALF!!!!” – WWE Commentator Jim Ross understandably losing his shit.
“DID UNDERTAKER JUST THROW MANKIND OFF THE CAGE?!”
Yes he did.
5. There was a loud, collective “HOLY SHIT!” followed by long suspenseful silence. People legit thought he was dead.
Even WWE owner Vince McMahon, who was playing a villain at the time, broke character to check up on the injured Mick Foley, the man “playing” Mankind.
6. So, the EMTs are carrying out Foley on a stretcher. Everyone thinks the match has officially come to an end…
Oh, but it doesn’t. Foley gets up out of the stretcher and makes his way toward the ring…
“I got a match to finish.” – A concussed Mick Foley.
7. AND CLIMBS THE CAGE AGAIN!
8. And Undertaker is like, “Aight. Let’s do this, again.”
9. As soon as they get to the top, Undertaker chokeslams Foley to the depths of hell.
“GOOD GOD!… GOOD GOD!… ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!… WILL SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH?!?!” – Jim Ross probably shaking his head at whoever let Mick Foley continue the match.
Now, the second fall might not look as bad as the first but keep this in mind: The padding in a wrestling ring is equivalent to a wooden floor with a rug on it.
Also, after being slammed through the cage, the leg of a steel chair unintentionally slams onto his face.
According to Foley, he doesn’t remember anything from this point forward.
10. WWE officials run into the ring, probably thinking, “If he wasn’t dead before, he’s definitely dead now.”
11. But the SHOW MUST GO ON! So Undertaker clears the WWE officials out of the ring and continues the match.
Poor Terry Funk getting chokeslammed after helping out his real-life friend Mick Foley.
12. Foley is so out of it, he doesn’t even bother “selling” Undertaker’s punches.
13. But, like a goddamn professional, Foley continues with the match.
“How is he still… like… moving?” – EVERYONE.
14. Here’s a wonderful shot where Foley appears to be “smiling.”
15. And just when you thought this match couldn’t get any more vicious, Foley dumps a bag of thumbtacks in the ring.
Yeah. Thumbtacks. Because why the fuck not?
16. “There’s no way they’re going to use– Wait–”
17. If that wasn’t enough, this happens:
18. Now, for those who say, “those are aren’t real thumbtacks,” I give you this:
“HE’S A HUMAN PIN CUSHION!!!” – Jim Ross, speaking the truth.
19. And just for good measure, Undertaker chokeslams Foley onto the thumbtacks.
You know, just for fun.
20. But, this match still needs a finish! So, Undertaker delivers his signature maneuver – The Tombstone – where he drops his opponent straight on his head.
21. Finally, after all this mayhem, Undertaker wins the match.
“Oh… my… God… What the fuck did we just watch?” – EVERYONE.
22. To everyone’s surprise, Foley refuses to go out on a stretcher. With some assistance, he walks to the back. The Pittsburgh crowd in attendance gives him a standing ovation.
Because, you know, HE JUST SACRIFICED HIS BODY FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT. Here’s a list of injuries Foley sustained in this one match alone: One and a half missing teeth, 14 stitches, a concussion, a dislocated jaw, a bruised kidney, and a dislocated shoulder.