Two Wrestling Nerds Decide What Will Happen At WrestleMania 30

What does WWE have in store for the Super Bowl of pro wrestling? Two BuzzFeed writers, who take wrestling very seriously, delve into the subject.

The match card for WrestleMania 30 is set. There will be a total of eight matches, with WWE giving away the Tag Team Championship match for free during the pre-show.

Here are our predictions for all eight matches:

1. Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos (Champions) vs. Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel

Babyfaces: The Usos (Champions), Los Matadores
Heels: The Real Americans, Ryback and Curtis Axel

Norberto Briceño: Here are my thoughts. The Usos have done an incredible job this year of keeping up their momentum. When I first saw them, I legit thought they would suck. I thought their face paint looked ridiculous. But they proved themselves and delivered some of the most exciting matches this year. I love them as champions, but I wish they had a better matchup at WrestleMania.

Austin Hunt: The only problem I really have with this match is that Los Matadores are in it. I get it, they’re trying to push the tag team division, but why them and why that silly gimmick? Give me Primo & Epico and I’m perfectly content with the match.

NB: Los Matadores are clearly a gimmick set up to attract Latino audiences. And for that, WWE should be commended. However, the gimmick is awful. The only redeeming quality of this tag team is El Torito, who can sometimes deliver a chuckle or two.

AH: As far as the rest of the teams go, I don’t see The Real Americans together after this Sunday night at WrestleMania. The WWE has been teasing a breakup for weeks now, and I think we’re finally going to see it.

NB: The Real Americans have been great together. Cesaro and Swagger make each other look good. Zeb Colter has been a great talking piece for the team. Although I would like Cesaro to break out and push for the world title, I don’t think he’s ready. It’s in The Real Americans’ best interest to remain together. I hope they don’t split.

AH: And let’s not forget about the team of Ryback and Curtis Axel. Now, I get they’re not the greatest tag team in the division right now, but they’re better off together than wasting away in the singles division. It’ll be interesting to see where they go after WrestleMania.

NB: When Heyman introduced a repackaged Curtis Axel, I thought there was something there (son of Mr. Perfect… What could go wrong?). And then there’s Ryback. At one time, everyone thought he would be the next John Cena. What happened? Poor booking. Putting them in this match leaves me scratching my head.

AH: It will definitely be interesting to see how this match plays out, but I think we’re going to see The Usos retain the titles by pinning on of The Real Americans and ultimately leading to the demise of Cesaro and Jack Swagger.

NB: There will be tons of high-flying maneuvers, Torito will do a hurricarana, Cesaro will swing somebody for 30 seconds, and one of the Usos will deliver a Snuka splash. 1, 2, 3. Usos. Don’t think The Real Americans will split, though.

Predictions:

NB: The Usos will win after Jimmy Uso dives off the top rope on Swagger.

AH: The Usos retain after a mistake by Swagger leads to Cesaro getting pinned.

2. Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational

Babyfaces: Nikki and Brie Bella, Natalya, Cameron, Naomi, Summer Rae, Rosa Mendez, Emma, Layla, Aksana, Eva Marie
Heels: AJ Lee (Champion), Tamina

AH: This match will probably be a “breather” match between the Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar match and the World Heavyweight Title match. I don’t expect a long match, though, as the first Diva, out of 14, to score a pinfall is the rightful winner.

NB: It’s very unfortunate that the WWE cannot come up with a good Divas match for WrestleMania. Paige from NXT should’ve been called up to face off against AJ. They could’ve had a rematch from Main Event between AJ and Natalya. Unfortunately, this will probably be another ad for Total Divas. Awesome show, but not worth taking up the spot of an actual competitive matchup.

AH: I think WrestleMania XXX is going to be an opportunity for the company to go full Diva mode and put the belt on one of the stars of Total Divas. I’d expect one of the The Bella Twins to walk out as the new Diva’s Champion.

NB: I’m going with AJ. Just because she’s the only Diva I truly like. I just wish WWE could put more into this division. Alas, whatever makes money.

Prediction:

NB: AJ Lee will win after pinning Tamina.

AH: Nikki or Brie Bella after Tamina turns on AJ Lee.

3. The Inaugural Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Babyfaces: Big Show, Dolph Ziggler, Rey Mysterio, Sheamus, Zack Ryder, Santino Marella, R-Truth, Sin Cara, Great Khali, Darren Young, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Big E, Justin Gabriel, Mark Henry, The Miz, Kofi Kingston
Heels: Alberto del Rio, Christian, Titus O’Neal, Fandango, Jinder Mahal, Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, Brodus Clay, Damien Sandow, Brad Maddox
+ Three surprise entrants

NB: The way WWE built this match has been a little wonky. Then again, how do you build a 30-man Battle Royal? I don’t think having everyone interrupting Piper’s Pit is the answer, but it was something. Hulk Hogan made the announcement for this match, so that gives it some special weight. Whoever wins is headed for a big push in the future.

AH: This match could be hit-or-miss, but it’s a great way to get all the mid-card guys in a match that usually wouldn’t see the ring on WrestleMania Sunday. I’m especially excited for the “surprise entrants” that are scheduled to be announced. RVD! RVD!

NB: In terms of who is going to win, WWE keeps pushing Big Show, which probably means he’s NOT going to win. I would like to root for Dolph Ziggler, but he’s probably not going to win, either. I say Alexander Rusev will come out as a surprise entrant and destroy everybody, including the Big Show. Boom! The Bulgarian Brute has arrived!

AH: As much as I would love to see Zigs come out of New Orleans with a WrestleMania win, I just don’t see that happening. Big Show has to get the win here. He’s “The Giant” and this is just too perfect to pass up for the first-ever Andre Battle Royal.

NB: It’s too perfect. That’s the problem. WWE will use this match to push an up-and-coming star. Big Show doesn’t need the push. Rusev does.

Predictions:

NB: Alexander Rusev will win after eliminating Big Show all by himself.

AH: The Big Show after eliminating Alexander Rusev last in the battle royal.

Top three choices for surprise entrants?

NB: Alexander Rusev, Chris Jericho, Hulk Hogan.

AH: Rob Van Dam, Alexander Rusev, and Bad News Barrett.

NB: Barrett? That’s some “Bad News” right there.

4. The Shield vs. Kane and The New Age Outlaws

Semi-Babyfaces: The Shield (Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns)
Heels: Kane and The New Age Outlaws

AH: Looking at this match on the WrestleMania card totally bums me out. The WWE is missing out on a “match of the year” opportunity between The Shield and Wyatt Family. Regardless, this match will be extremely fun with a lot of nostalgia flowing in what almost has to be the New Age Outlaws’ last WrestleMania appearance. Over.

NB: Save the nostalgia for Old School Raw. Corporate Kane is the most uninteresting superstar I’ve seen in awhile. I get what WWE is trying to do (Attitude Era vs. Reality Era), but The Shield truly deserves better opponents. I WANT MY GODDAMN SHIELD VS. WYATT FAMILY REMATCH.

AH: It’s a bummer, but hopefully we’ll see the rematch we all deserve at Extreme Rules in May. Until then, we get to witness the WWE decide what they want to do with The Shield from here on out.

NB: The Shield can go two ways in this match: One: They win and turn complete babyfaces. Two: They lose, implode, leading to a Triple Threat match between the three at Extreme Rules next month.

AH: I definitely see the Hounds of Justice securing a win on Sunday. With a recent face-turn and competing in various dark matches versus The Wyatt Family lately, I think we’re in for The Shield being bonded more tightly than we’ve already seen.

NB: I’m not trusting WWE Creative to do the right thing. I’m going with Kane and The New Age Outlaws. Because… I don’t know why, but I feel they won’t put The Shield over.

Predictions:

NB: Kane and The New Age Outlaws win after Dean Ambrose turns on his teammates.

AH: The Shield after Roman Reigns lands a HUGE spear on Corporate Kane.

5. John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Babyface: John Cena
Heels: Bray Wyatt with The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper and Erick Rowan)

NB: John Cena is the WWE’s “Golden Boy.” He’s not going to lose at WrestleMania. He’s been saying for the past couple of weeks that he’s “scared” of Bray Wyatt. This can only mean that Cena will overcome his fears and defeat Bray Wyatt and the Wyatt Family at WrestleMania. Kids will go apeshit.

AH: There’s not much to say about this one. The buildup for this match has been fantastic, and Bray Wyatt is finally getting the big in-ring push he deserves. Unfortunately for him, though, it’s coming against WWE’s go-to guy at WrestleMania. Hopefully this match concludes the feud and they both move in another direction.

NB: My guess is Cena will defeat the Wyatt Family at WrestleMania and there will be a rematch at Extreme Rules in a steel cage (where Cena will lose).

AH: I would be shocked if WWE put Bray Wyatt over Cena. SHOCKED, I tell you. With that, Cena gets the pinfall, but also probably gets pummeled by the Wyatt Family post-match.

NB: OR… Hear me out… Cena turns heel and joins the Wyatt Family (mic drop).

Predictions:

NB: John Cena wins after delivering the Attitude Adjustment.

AH: John “Fruity Pebbles” Cena after multiple Attitude Adjustments.

6. The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

Babyface: The Undertaker
Heel: Brock Lesnar

HBO

AH: *See above.

NB: The Undertaker will have an incredibly brutal one-on-one battle with Brock Lesnar. They will perform MMA holds, Brock will kick out of the Tombstone, and Taker will kick out of an F-5. But the Undertaker will walk out the victor. I’m interested to see how Taker turns Lesnar’s kimura lock into a Hell’s Gate.

AH: BY GOD ALMIGHTY, I will get an Undertaker neck tattoo on Monday morning if Brock Lesnar tap outs to the Hell’s Gate.

NB: You need to back that up. If Lesnar taps out, you, Austin Hunt, will get an Undertaker neck tattoo. Are you up for it?

AH: This just got real. Regardless, Undertaker walks out of New Orleans 22-0…BUT ONLY AFTER taking a selfie over Brock Lesnar’s soulless body…and then tweeting it.

Predictions:

NB: 22-0. Nuff’ said.

AH: The Undertaker keeps rollin, rollin, rollin…to WrestleMania XXXI versus a Shirted Sting.

NB: Sting… sigh

7. Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H (Winner enters the WWE Championship Match)

Babyface: Daniel Bryan
Heel: Triple H

NB: YES! YES! YES! The time to pull the trigger on Daniel Bryan is now (actually SummerSlam but whatever). This is the opportunity for Triple H to put over this fan favorite. Everyone loves him. “YES!” chants are taking over the world.

AH: Triple H is known for refusing to put young guys over, and this is no different. It’s WrestleMania XXX and he’s in good enough shape to be in the main event, which means Triple H will be in the main event. But…Daniel Bryan will be there too. He has to be. Maybe an executive decision by Mr. McMahon?

NB: I doubt Mr. McMahon will make an appearance at WrestleMania. This will end in a double pinfall. Or, Triple H will take out his legendary shovel and bury Bryan once and for all. I don’t want that, but it’s not far-fetched. The worst thing that could happen is that we see a triple threat match between Randy Orton, Batista, and Triple H in one of the worst matches of all time.

AH: I’m only going to be excited for Evolution getting back in the ring together if Ric Flair is also involved. WOO!

NB: Evolution was overrated. There. I said it.

AH: I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that and go on in saying Triple H finds a way to screw Bryan out of the main event of WrestleMania XXX…for a short period of time.

NB: I’m going with Daniel Bryan…but I can see Triple H slithering his way into the main event in order to get his long-awaited WrestleMania moment.

Predictions:

NB: Daniel Bryan. But Triple H will also advance, somehow, because he’s Triple H.

AH: Triple H, but both of them will advance to the main event due to some funny business that we don’t know about yet.

8. WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: Randy Orton (Champion) vs. Batista vs. Winner of Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H

Babyface: None
Heels: Randy Orton (Champion), Batista

AH: The build for this match has been all over the place. First, with the WWE thinking fans would be excited about Batista winning the Royal Rumble. (Honestly, they might have if it would have been a surprise.) And secondly, with not just throwing Daniel Bryan in the title picture automatically, I get it… HHH wants to be involved, but come on…let it go, Paul.

NB: I could feel my heart sink to the pit of my stomach when Batista won the Royal Rumble. The main event match to the first ever WrestleMania I’M GOING TO is Batista vs. Randy Orton.

NB: Luckily WWE saved themselves by adding that stipulation to the Daniel Bryan/HHH match. I have no interest in either Randy Orton or Batista. I just want Bryan to win. Is it inconceivable to think that WWE will not be going with Daniel Bryan as champion at the end of the night?

AH: Vince McMahon is a promoter at heart, and he’s way too smart to let something like this slip through his hands. The WWE has been built on opportunities and WrestleMania moments like this one. Seventy thousand people will not be disappointed this Sunday. The “Reality Era” is here, and Daniel Bryan is going to be leading it. YES! YES! YES!

Predictions:

NB: Batista (because he’s promoting Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy)

AH: Daniel Bryan and the WWE Universe #YesMovement

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

Facebook Conversations
          
    Now Buzzing