1. The frustration of arriving late for mass and finding out there were no more pews to sit in.
Standing for an entire hour of mass can be a little painstaking. Especially as a kid.
2. The pain your legs felt after standing for an entire Palm Sunday mass.
Sunday mass: one hour. Palm Sunday mass: FOREVER.
3. Hearing the two most dreaded words on Christmas Eve: MIDNIGHT MASS.
4. Feeling morally wrong if you were the only one sitting down.
5. Cringing while rewatching the home videos of your baptism.
Don’t worry. Everyone cries. Everyone.
6. Daydreaming while looking at colored church windows.
7. Giving money to the collection basket was always a little exciting.
8. Speaking gibberish when you didn’t know the prayer.
9. Believing that the “Blood of Christ” would taste like grape juice.
It doesn’t. It tastes like wine.
10. Participating in your First Communion meant you could finally taste those communion wafers.
For some reason, you always thought they would taste sweet.
They don’t. They taste like wheat.
11. Wondering what lucky person would receive “the giant one.”
No one. The priest would rip the wafer to pieces and serve them to the congregation. So much for that…
12. The indecisiveness of grabbing the wafer or sticking your tongue out.
You wanted to grab the wafer, but you always forgot which hand went on top. When push came to shove, you always stuck out your tongue.
13. Always forgetting what you were going to say in the confession booth.
Let’s be honest: You don’t really have anything to confess until you’re an adult.
14. The simple pleasure of playing footsie with the kneeling pads.
15. The comfort of kneeling like this.
The half-kneeling, half-sitting routine worked every time.
16. Shaking hands with strangers during the Sign of Peace was always a little awkward.
Do I have to shake everyone’s hand or just the first three people?
17. And so was holding hands.
Two words: Sweaty. Palms.
18. When the priest blessed the congregation with holy water, you felt extra special when the water actually touched you.
19. You always wondered why the priest delivered his sermon with a lazy singing voice.
You would later learn that he was actually chanting.
20. If your church played an organ, it always sounded like the Four Horsemen were about to make an appearance.
21. On Ash Wednesday, it was cool to walk into school with a cross on your forehead.
“What? This? It’s only the power of Christ. NBD.”
22. The joy of hearing someone read out the community events of the week.
This was a sign that the end of mass was near.