Skip To Content

    18 Thoughts Men Have About Their Own Bodies

    "RECEDING HAIRLINE."

    1. "I think I'm getting fat."

    2. "I need to build some muscle. I look like a friggin' skeleton."

    3. "Is my hair... receding? Oh God."

    4. "Is that a bald spot? I'll just comb over it and it'll go away."

    5. "Is that a gray hair? Nonononono. GET OFF!"

    6. "OMG! S/he's coming. She's gonna think I'm fat. I should tuck in my belly."

    7. "My pecs look like man boobs. GODDAMN IT!"

    8. "Why is it that I go to the gym everyday and I don't see results. I should be looking like The Rock by now."

    I'm in the mood for love (and by love I mean pancakes & lips) AM training. On set workout trailer. #HERCULES

    9. "I'll walk around with my chin up so I don't accentuate the fat under my chin."

    10. "I wish there was a way to make my penis bigger."

    11. "How many goddamn sit ups does it take to get a six pack?"

    12. "Shit... I can see my nose hairs."

    13. When going to the beach: "Do I absolutely have to take off my shirt?"

    14. When shaving ~down there~ with a razor: "Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up. Ouch. Don't fuck up."

    15. Also: "How much am I supposed to actually shave?"

    16. "Do people actually like my beard? This was a stupid idea. I should just shave it off."

    17. "Why does my sexy stare make me look super creepy?"

    18. "Are those... crow's feet? That's it. I'm old. Youth is over."

    Men have the same body issues like everybody else. And if a man tells you otherwise, they're probably lying.