14 Arranged Marriage Meeting Horror Stories That Will Make You Glad You're Single

    Tinder > Shaadi.com

    Nirali Shah
    by Nirali Shah

    BuzzFeed India Contributor

    Arranged marriages work out for a lot of people and that's awesome. But, to the unlucky few for whom attempting it was just a nightmare doused in awk-sauce, know that you're not alone.

    Dharma Productions

    1. This unfortunate example that validates Facebook stalking.

    Talkback Thames / Via ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com

    This Quora user's sister was saved when her 'Hawkeye' mom went deep into the 'tagged' section of Facebook photos and saw a ring on his hand in a casual picture. Not only was a he married with a newborn son but his wife was also pregnant with his second child.

    2. This family who rejected a girl for being a lefty.

    Disney

    Quora user Purwa Rojinder's friend, Kruti, was left much better off when the boy's family rejected her because, "Kruti is lefty, we don't want a lefty progeny." As if lefties didn't have enough to worry about.

    3. This girl who had to survive several levels of misogyny and trivia quizzes... And that was before the dowry demands.

    Universal Music / Via rebloggy.com

    The boy's family told this Quora user that she would have to stay in her room while menstruating, be home before the evening lamp is lit to perform pujas and even stay home instead of working. She was even subjected to hilarious trivia quizzes before being asked to "gift" a car and jewellery because apparently, only houses and money are counted as dowry.

    4. This girl who had to give an ~oral~ examination.

    NBC Universal Television

    "One of them asked to me to read a few lines from the book they had gotten along with them. Logic: To check whether I stammer, check my voice and see if I am educated enough or am I lying about my credentials! Sigh!" - One of ten hilarious stories by a Quora user.

    5. These papad enthusiasts.

    Red Chillies Entertainment

    After asking about her views on freedom fighter Bhagat Singh, whether Aamir Khan was right in Rang De Basanti what percentage of males exist in her office and to calculate the result of four divided by two, the boy's father asked Parul to make a papad as the ultimate test.

    6. The deep-conditioning mother-in-law

    Sippy Films

    This poor guy's prospective MIL only had three simple conditions before he was allowed to meet her daughter: 1) He should not talk to or visit his parents for the next five years, 2) his Indian parents mustn't ever visit him in the U.K. (where he lives) and 3) he should register his new house in not his, not his future wife's, but his mother-in-law's name.

    7. This hypothetical playah.

    SLB Films / Via bollypop.in

    "Our Family astrologer has seen your horoscope & told us that you have had girlfriends in the past so he thinks you are not a good match for our girl." was an excuse Quora user Harsh heard during his arranged marriage adventures.

    8. This father with real ~sister-wives~.

    Yash Raj Films

    One Quora user and his sister were slightly confused when an extra woman and child showed up at the meeting but put her down as an aunt. They realised later that she was the prospective groom's mother's sister who his father had a child with as well.

    9. This prospective MIL with serious trust issues.

    Via live-love-laugh-one-direction.tumblr.com

    This girl almost had the wind knocked out of her when she first met a prospective groom. Not in the way you think though. "When I was about to touch the prospect mother-in-law's feet, all I remember was that I banged myself on the floor! I lost my balance because she pulled my long hair to check if it was real! I can't explain even today how horrified I was!"

    10. This family that has zero specs-appeal.

    Dharma Productions

    One Quora user's cousin met her long distance prospect on Skype while wearing glasses. He quickly informed his parents who demanded a Skype meeting with her and rejected her for not having 20/20 vision. This is real. Read here.

    11. This woman who knows for sure that hips don't lie.

    YashRaj Films

    Ruhi has had so many hilarious experiences trying to look for a husband that she's even started a blog. One time, after asking her the usual questions, the boy's mother proclaimed that she liked Ruhi for her wide hips that were ideal for child-bearing. Who doesn't love a good booty?

    12. This Indian Idol audition.

    YashRaj Films

    While meeting a suitor, Gita was asked to sing by the boy’s parents (which is, according to Bollywood, not totally unheard of). After she finished her song, she turned to the boy and asked him to sing for her because equality. She was rejected for being too "smart" to fit into his family. No shit.

    13. These handwriting analysers.

    New Line Cinema

    After asking her to remove her shoes to check her real height, the boy's family asked Rohini to write a page long essay on her job. They wanted to check if she had good handwriting. Plus they wanted her to fill out the page to check its consistency. Why? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    14. And this adorable sari nightmare which proves that sometimes even horror stories have happy endings.

    Reliance Entertainment

    This smooth guy was meeting his prospective bride who was distinctly nervous and trembling in a sari. She lived every desi girl's nightmare when her sari started coming undone in the middle of a crowded market in front of her future partner. He saved the day by cheekily asking her if he should fix it and making her laugh. They were married soon after.

    To read more arranged marriage horror stories (or to show your mom) check this Quora thread here.

    YashRaj Films