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    This Is Actually What It's Like To Get Slimed

    Turns out dreams are made of green guck.

    Since the dawn of the '90s, kids across the nation have had one shared dream: to get slimed.

    Today, I got to achieve that goal.

    Me. A grown-ass woman.

    But also just a regular '90s kid who dared to dream.

    The folks over at Nickelodeon let me get green and dirty during a "slime test" for their upcoming Kids' Choice Sports Awards.

    I was told to wear clothes that I didn't "care about ruining," so this is what I went with.

    This was the stage on which we were to test slime, and also the stage on which my dreams would come true.

    See those heads?

    That's what slime comes out of!!!!!!!

    It's a little shaky, but here's my first foray into the wonderful world of slime.

    FYI that tub we're sitting in had a layer of stagnant slime sitting in it already. Here I am reveling in the fact that my feet and hair are now covered in this sacred childhood goop.

    Then they hit us with a SECOND SLIME. But it didn't really touch me. I managed to smile through this devastating disappointment, but you can see my heart breaking as it happens.

    The third slime was the longest. It was like taking a beautiful slime shower.

    AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

    You wanna know how they did the fourth slime? BY SPRAYING IT THROUGH A FREAKIN' CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE.

    I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS COMING.

    OK now I know y'all have some questions about slime, like "What does it feel like?" Well, it's super goopy and craaaaazy slippery!

    It gets EVERYWHERE.

    vine.co

    Seriously, I kept finding gobs of it in weird crevices.

    If slime touches it, it's gone forever.

    And finally, the most important question: what does slime taste like? Drumroll please...

    ... Nothing. It tastes like nothing. Nothing with a hint of soap maybe. It also smells like nothing.

    Despite having a gross, slimy neck...

    ... and my shower drain look like this afterwards...

    ... I would still say getting slimed was the best experience my inner child (OK, and my adult self) could ever have had.

    Tune in to the 2015 Kids' Choice Sports Awards at 8 p.m. on Thursday July 16th for more slime action!