1. You’ve got this whole college thing down
No more awkward interactions asking people which bus to take or where to live off campus. You’re in your fifth year of college - you’ve got this in the bag.
2. You finally speak your professor’s language
Only seasoned students know the first day is just to hand out the syllabus.
3. You go out 6-7 nights a week
There is no end to the amount of alcohol you can consume during your fifth year of college. After all, the term Sunday Funday was probably coined by a small gathering of fellow victory-lappers.
4. You are single by choice
The search for the perfect man or woman has been postponed to your post-grad life. This clears up time in your schedule for nine months of bad decisions.
5. You’ve perfected the all-nighter
A true art form that takes years to master. Luckily, you’ve had the practice.
6. Your parents have cut you off and you now work a minimum wage job
Yeah, your parents definitely hate you for making them take out their ninth consecutive school loan. Sayonara monthly allowance and utility money, time to fulfill your barista destiny.
7. You’re not trying to make new friends
You’ve had eight glorious semesters at this school, and you’ve found people that accept and welcome your irresponsibility and complete disregard for social norms - treasure them.
8. You are not involved in anything on campus
With the exception of football games, your dedication to student government or the PR club are no longer a priority.
9. Some friends that have graduated only still talk to you for a free place to stay next year
Yeah, that friend that you haven’t spoken to since freshmen year that just texted you out of the blue: they really only want to secure a space on your living room floor for next football season.
10. Your friends accept, encourage and participate in your drunken scenes
Every fifth year is entitled to one or two.. a week.
11. You dress to not impress
If you’re in anything other than a baggy t-shirt and gym shorts for class, you’re doing it wrong. The same rules apply Monday-Thursday when you are at the bars.
12. You are inevitably stuck in one freshman class
Probably should not have put French 101 off for four years.. and now you need to listen to freshmen ask dumb questions and start up awful conversations.
13. You avoid going back to your hometown like the plague
Because then you have to listen to your high school friends that have graduated college complain about job searches or their new nine to five job. Or worse, explain to their parents that you’re still in college with no foreseeable future plans.
14. You can spot the campus douche from a mile away
You’ve been in the college dating scene for long enough to know when a guy or girl is worth your time. That frat star that strolls into a bar like he owns the place is no longer on your radar.
15. And finally.. you don’t give AF about anything
Exceptions: Football games, binge drinking and passing class (just barely).