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12 Christmas Gifts You Can’t Afford Not To Buy

Left your shopping to the last minute again? No need to panic, I’ve scoured the Internet and found the perfect present for all your family and friends. WARNING: you may suffer severe present envy.

1. 1. War of Ages Christmas Jumper

Because nothing says Christmas like a flesh-eating reindeer.

2. 2. Giant Fro Wig

This is BIGGEST and most AWESOME wig you will ever see. Perfect for that Mighty Boosh theme party on NYE.

3. 3. Fart In A Jar

The gift that keeps on giving. Why not personalise this one with your own Eau de Christmas? Pro tip: create a collection and save for next year when they mature.

4. 4. Rudolf Mankini

Look at his adorable red nose, just screaming to be touched. DO IT.

5. 5. Frightening Rat

He is not cute OK?! He is FRIGHTENING and FIERCE and SCARY.

6. 6. Santa Loo Cover Set

Because a Santa loo cover set is for life, not just for Christmas.

7. 7. Hairy Stockings

Worn in China to fend off perverts. Or attract next level perverts, maybe.

8. 8. Granny Pants

These beauties even double up as a festive sack to lug your haul home in. Handy!

9. 9. Twerking Miley Einstein

Because Einstein invented twerking. Fact.

10. 10. Man Panties

Just look at that silky gusset. LOOK AT IT. Your eyes will never be the same again.

11. 11. A Jar Of Mole Bums

No eBay, I don’t have one to sell.

12. 12. Virgin Mary Toaster

Because Christmas simply wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for dear Mary. Give thanks all year round with this toaster and maybe buy the penis one next year.

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