1. When people find out you have a lisp they will make you say certain words to prove it.
“Oh you have a lisp?! Say sausages!”
4. You’ll look at other people talk with ease and envy the hell out of them.
6. You will try and cure it.
7. No seriously. You’ll put endless hours into researching how to get rid of your lisp, but to no avail.
8. You wonder why the hell didn’t your parents send you to speech therapy when you were younger.
Why Mom and Dad?!
9. You then continue to question your parents’ evil motives when they decided to give you a name with an “S” in it.
Why did you call me “Nicholas?!” It’s pure evil!
10. You end up going to therapy, but it’s too late. You should have done this when you were younger.
You cannot teach an old dog new tricks.
11. You think the guy who put an “S” in “lisp” is a total piece of shit.
12. During your teenage years you will connect with kids who have temporary lisps from their retainers and braces.
13. You finally have someone to go through this problem with.
14. Until they inevitably get them taken off leaving you by yourself, once again.
17. You develop a fear of answering the phone, especially at work.
“Good afternoon Thunglatheth Hut, Nicholath Thpeaking.”
Translation: Good afternoon Sunglasses Hut, Nicholas speaking.
19. Having your 8th grade science teacher make you do a speech on “photosynthesis.”
I haven’t forgotten Mrs Jackson, bitch.
20. Finally after years of negativity you will forget about everything and push it aside.
21. You will start to find out about successful people who have lisps, like Jay Leno.
Oh, and Mike Tyson.
So if people still tease you because of your lisp, just tell your new mate Mike and he will sort them out.