1. It all started when Australia started feeling a bit cocky with its size.
You call that a country? THIS is a country.
2. But as they say, it’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it. New Zealand is filled head to toe with amazing landscape.
Much beautiful. Very New Zealand.
3. Where Australia goes limp as almost half the country’s land being uninhabitable.
It’s just nervous.
4. They do have some breathtaking sights though, like the Great Ocean Road.
6. And The Great Barrier Reef.
Not for long though. Thanks Abbott.
7. But when it comes to the amazing landscape to bare land ratio, New Zealand still wins with its natural beauty.
8. So Australia had to take a different approach. It had to win with the man-made attractions.
9. New Zealand then countered this with building the Sky Tower in Auckland.
Which is taller than any building in Australia.
10. Australia then said “game on” and did the unthinkable. They stole the son of New Zealand, Russell Crowe.
11. This started a snowball effect with more Kiwis starting to make the jump to Australia.
They were even trying to force their brand of ice cream and smoothies on Australia. These places shot up faster than Boost Juice franchises.
12. When asked about all the Kiwis jumping over to Oz, NZ Prime Minister at the time Robery Muldoon said they were raising the IQ of both countries.
Oh shit son!
13. Australia then started to play dirty with the ‘Underarm Incident of 1981.’
14. It was also during this time in the 80’s that the world was becoming obsessed with Australia. So Kiwi’s started to be mistaken as Aussies.
That “Shrimp on the barbie” campaign with Paul Hogan actually did wonders.
15. I mean, it’s not that hard to get the 2 countries mixed up. Look at those flags!
16. An Australian man even tried to sell New Zealand on eBay!
The posting said the country’s highlights include “the dodgiest America’s Cup win ever…and very ordinary weather.”
17. The jokes didn’t stop there. Australia started to have a field day with jokes at the Kiwi’s expense.
18. Oh, that video reminds me. Australia has this beautiful man, Karl Stefanovic
A legend to his people.
19. Australia started gaining the upper-hand. They were getting quite smug.
20. The Kiwis had enough. They thought what better way to prove that they’re not Australian than on the sporting field.
21. Before each game they will do their traditional Haka to strike fear into the opposing team, including the Australians.
22. To which Australia responded with this.
23. This drove the Kiwis insane. They will go on to destroy Australia in the annual Bledisloe Cup for over a decade.
Australia has not won the cup since 2002.
25. It was getting out of hand!
26. The Kiwi’s knew it was time to bring out the big guns. Cue ‘The Lord of The Rings” trilogy.
27. Australia did have Chris Lilley and his countless TV shows, but they could not compare to the grand scale of the LOTR trilogy.
28. Australia slowly started to see potential in New Zealand. So they thought about invading it.
29. New Zealand did have some talent though, like international music sensation, Lorde.
30. New Zealand then tried to claim part of Australian singer-songwriter Gotye’s 2011 hit, ‘Somebody That I Used To Know,’ due to a Kiwi being featured in it.
31. But Australia took the crown in the music department with a little band called AC/DC.
But no matter how out of hand this rivalry got, the two countries would always remember that they are Anzacs.
32. And they’ll always have each others backs. Through better, and through worse.
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