Yao Ming Tries To Play Golf, Fails Spectacularly

It’s all in the hips, Yao.

1. Former Houston Rockets center Yao Ming busted out his six-foot-long golf clubs and played in the Mission Hills World Celebrity Pro-Am golf tournament in Haikou, China this weekend.

Image by Tyrone Siu / Reuters

2. Yao’s no Michael Phelps yet, though. Golf is a cruel mistress.

Yao’s a true seven footer, so the fact that his swing doesn’t just look like a willow tree swaying in the wind is pretty impressive. There’s seems to be a genuine, yet unrefined golfer inside that massive frame, a few instructional sessions with David Leadbetter and Yao could be breaking 80.

We’ve translated the commentary for you:

(Chinese Johnny Miller): “Yao Ming needs to get up-and-down from here for quadruple-bogey. Wind gusting in from behind his back. Not much in this, is there Dottie?”

(Chinese Dottie Pepper): “Johnny shut up we know you used to be really good at golf. Yao just missed the ball entirely.”

(Chinese Johnny Miller): “And his playing partner comes over to fix the divot, I’ve never seen that before.”

(Chinese Dottie Pepper): “Yao Ming doesn’t fix divots.”

(Chinese Johnny Miller): “He addressed the ball. That’s a stroke. I’m counting that as a stroke.”

(Chinese Dottie Pepper): “I hate you.”

4. Speaking of Michael Phelps, he was in China too, living the life of a retired 27-year-old.

Image by Tyrone Siu / Reuters

5. Tournament organizers promised Ronaldo free General Tso’s and lo mein, so he showed up.

Image by Tyrone Siu / Reuters

6. Adrian Brody was there looking melancholy.

Image by EUGENE HOSHIKO / AP

7. Minka Kelly was just happy to make contact with the ball.

Image by Tyrone Siu / Reuters

Image by Tyrone Siu / Reuters

(h/t Geoff Shackleford via Business Insider)