Studying Psychology (as Told By Loki Gifs)

Side effects of exposure to Loki include fangirling and spontaneous orgasm.

1. You develop an unhealthy fascination with brains

A small watery meatbag with no pain receptors is capable of experiencing the full intensity of feeling, discovering the universe and embarking on an entirely new creation. And most of us have one. That is awesome.
Dubious: I’m not a cannibal, but those brain cupcakes look delicious.

2. Your impulse control issues make for a constant case study

Would chocolate for breakfast help me avoid snacking later? I was good at that meeting, I deserve to put off deeper processing efforts for a few more… days.

3. As each year passes, your hope for humanity dwindles

How can they be this illogical? Can’t they see what they’re doing? Meta-cognition is a band name to these people isn’t it? Amygdala overdrive in practice.

4. “Isn’t that like sociology?”

If a Vespa is a Harley.

5. The people who think IQ fully equates to intelligence

Have you heard of Binet? Clue: it isn’t a hat.
IQ is a test which measures how well you do …on tests.

6. You have a unique place among the majors

More science than a liberal art, less maths than a harder science.
You can’t help but feel slightly superior for it.

7. SPSS

The tool of sadistic social scientists to send us ironically insane with tutorials and spreadsheets with pointless style rules and an ever-changing rota of updates.

8. When people misuse terms against you

It doesn’t mean what you think it means.
ex. Having one negative opinion does not a pessimist make.
Conversely, laughing a lot doesn’t make you an optimist.

9. Reference lists and educational videos

It’s too easy to procrastinate.

10. “Neuro-porn”

Brain porn? Seriously?
This term should never have been allowed to exist.

11. Nature v Nurture

You expect me to know the answer?
One. No, the other. Both. Definitely both.

Maybe.

12. No research can withstand the force of my personal anecdote

Unless your aunt Zelda did a published study, stop.

13. Probabilistic Statistics

The ones we learn have no practical applications at a casino.

14. Simple card games can defeat you

Try explaining the Wason selection logic down the pub.

15. The crazy researcher names

Looking at you Mihály Csíkszentmihályi.

16. Game theory

17. Derailing privileged loudmouths is fun

“Actually, studies have shown…”

18. Evolutionary explanations

19. Identity display in consumer choices

The bounded rationality is paralyzing.
WHO AM I?!

20. Personality tests

The new horoscope.

21. “The brain is a computer, haven’t you studied the theory?”

Stop trying to make the computer metaphor happen.

22. Mediating conflicts

23. There is no such thing as a correct answer

aaand plenty of wrong ones.

24. Studies which pay in actual money

25. You’re expected to Explain the Crazy

26. Press coverage of important studies

27. “Isn’t it common sense?”

28. “I had this dream-“

29. “Can you read my mind?”

Is there enough in there?

30. Freud jokes

31. Things can get weird

My personal favourite is Otherkin.
Werepanthers, dragons, elves, unicorns….

32. You have to check yourself from thinking too hard

Thinking about thinking is surreal.

33. Introspection becomes a daily sport

34. Clinical studies should never be scheduled before lunch

yet they always are.

35. “Psychology isn’t a science”

Hopefully you’ll never be in a position to say that to a neurologist or a psychiatrist.

36. You begin to see dating in terms of mating ritual

37. People watching becomes an observational social experiment

With unusual results.

38. Your flirting technique needs some work

Hey, you’re very symmetrical.

39. Self-actualization

40. Taboos fade into oblivion

When you openly discuss pornography, torture and drug use with your professors, the boundaries disappear.

41. When someone agrees with your pet theory

42. p = <0.05

43. You want to teach the pigeons in Trafalgar Square how to play ping pong

Ethics are for people who need funding.

44. Your Just in Case index expands into worrying areas

lie detection, authority and status signals, serial killer profiling…

45. You have valid opinions on countless subjects

People are involved in pretty much everything ever.

46. Applications are endless

There is no limit.
Everything is studying. Any career is kinda viable.

47. You develop great comebacks

Words are the language of the mind.

48. You fear that one day your mind will turn on you

We are vulnerable and dependent on a small lump of electrically charged meat for our very experience of life. The DSM/ICD makes the paranoia worse.

49. Jung is under-rated

Pop culture wouldn’t be as entertaining without his influence.

50. The lecturers who read off the slides but expect you to memorize it

51. Wording is imperative

Diverge from APA at your peril.

52. Nothing is ever as it first appears

Bow to Bayes.

53. You’ve studied basic life skills like remembering stuff

Pity it didn’t work.

54. When the diagnostic criteria changes

55. When a replacement theory correction comes out

56. MRI noises

Quell the tiny doubt you may be about to die.

57. Trusting participants

58. Suspicious participants

Do not tempt me.

59. Recollecting your previously questionable dating taste

60. You rethink every relationship in your life

61. Your dissertation topic is your baby

You become irrationally protective.

62. Your peers are nutty

Alas, the stereotype is somewhat true.
In fairness, they probably diagnosed you too.
The constant personal testing allays your fears.

63. You learn your past is alive in your present

Freud had some good points.

64. You have to let go of your misconceptions

It is painful.
It is science.

65. It’s worth it all

for the deeper understanding you acquire of your fellow man.

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