1. Valentine’s Day is almost here! What are you getting your significant other?
3. That’s why you need to buy this very useless 4.5 ft teddy bear!
4. Is your girlfriend 12 years old? No? Don’t worry, she will still LOVE this present.
5. Like, REALLY love it. Look at her go. Some serious bonding right there.
6. You buy this teddy bear and you KNOW you’re getting laid tonight.
8. Those wilted roses you bought are crap and she’s going to throw them (and you) out.
10. Buy the Vermont Teddy Bear so she can bring him to the office.
12. To reiterate, this will obviously get you laid. No matter how creepy your face is.
13. What are you waiting for?! CALL NOW TO PURCHASE THIS GIANT STUFFED ANIMAL THAT SHE WILL THROW AWAY IN 3 DAYS!
14. Watch the full commercial here:
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