Complaining about Washington Dysfunction Now America’s Most Secure Job

PITTSBURG, Penn. — An analysis of job security for citizens of America has found that “bitching and complaining” about Washington dysfunction is now the most stable profession in the country. The study, published in The Journal of Economic Perspectives, shows that while many jobs have become more insecure since 2008’s economic crisis—vulnerable to layoff via downsizing or obsolescence—professions centered on whining about the political gridlock and general incompetence of Congress and the Executive Branch are now “basically lifetime appointments.”