1.
You just googled "Giant Coconut Crab" to remember what it feels like to have your skin tingle
2.
You're scrolling through Facebook photos from 2007 to see if you've put on weight
3.
You're looking on Streetview because you can't find your local Maplins. In fact you're not even sure what a Maplins is.
4.
YouTube is now advertising MatureDating.com in your sidebar because you've watched I Will Survive 17 times today
5.
You've downloaded four hours' worth of sports podcasts, because you're used to someone talking about football while you eat dinner
6.
You're being followed on Twitter by someone called "Ch1ckMagnet" who keeps offering to 'wine and dine you'
7.
You Instagrammed the spider you just found in your knicker drawer
8.
You have no unread emails. Not one. Literally, none.
9.
It's 1.53am and you're reading a forum thread about whether Twins could actually, biologically, happen
10.
You set up a Google alert for "Gosling", put your phone on vibrate, push it into a very tight front pocket and wait
