10 Kids Toys That Should Be Banned EVERYWHERE

Don't ever expect to find these for sale in Toys R Us!

1. The Dora Aquapet

Via evencool.com

Teach your kid Spanish and help her to grow up quickly by playing with this fantastically phalic shaped toy.

2. Shave the Ginger-Pube Baby

Via cdn0.lostateminor.com

Puberty is a fact of life. Help your child avoid embarrassment in later life, by teaching them how to maintain their hair growth at the youngest of ages.

3. Pee & Poo Cuddly Toys

Via tofugu.com

Bring your child closer to their natural bodily functions, by letting them cuddle a miniature turd.

4. The iPotty

Via mom.me

Teach your children that it is normal to use smart-devices whilst nature takes it course, with the all new iPotty.

5. Terrifying Child-Birth Doll

Via flickr.com

Teach your kids the magic of entering the world, complete with a realistic umbilical cord.

6. Tattoo Parlour Pen

Via 2on2jq3zqfpd2i4rzs3oxtog9o4.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com

Practice body art designs on your friends at the youngest of ages. No pain necessary!

7. The God-Jesus Bot

Via cdn-www.cracked.com

Is your child learning to sin? Are you worried he may be an atheist? Fear not, the God-Jesus-bot will help fight off any blasphemy in sight.

8. Atomic Energy Lab

Via cache.gawkerassets.com

Create weapons of mass destruction, and blow up your neighbours, and THEIR neighbours, with over 150 exciting experiments.

9. STD Cuddly Toys

Via giantmicrobes.com

These cute fluffy toys will allow you and your child to play throw and catch without worrying about catching a disease. Both informative and safe.

10. Superman Snuggler

Via gadgets.boingboing.net

Snuggle and carry around this cute Superman pillow all day. His artistically shaped mouth will help you to blow off any villains in sight.