Every Gay Man's Thought Process While Getting Ready To Go Out

Will this outfit get me a date with a hottie? A free drink? An awkward drunk make out session at least? Nope probably not.

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1. Ooo I just got text from the bestie, he wants to go out tonight

2. He wants me to meet his friend!?

3. Shit, I need a haircut and a new outfit, better pick it up on my lunch break

4. Ugh I work in BFE, where can I get a decent outfit?

5. Ok lunch break, let's try to find something, anything

6. Nope, nope, nope.. this is hopeless, time for a haircut

7. My hairstylist did NOT listen to me, I'm basically scalped

8. Time to head back to the office, I hope the rest of this day goes fast

9. Freedom, time to rush home to get ready, I only have like 30 mins

10. Traffic is a whore, now I have like 20 mins to get ready

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11. Gotta text G.B.F. - "just got home - running 5 min late, jumping in the shower"

12. Hop in the shower, ooo wait, do I have time for a glass of wine in the shower?

13. Yes, hunty, there's always time for shower wine

14. Really, all I have left from that party last week is Coors Light?

15. Coors will have to do, shower beer it is.

16. *Lathering Hair* - seriously, when did I get so ratchet tho, a shower beer?

17. My hair is seriously not as thick as it used to be

18. Oh well, that's why they make volumizin' conditioner, right?

19. Should I shave?

20. Nah, I think I might have just enough stubble for it to be considered sexy stubble

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21. Ok, I'm starting to prune, time to get out

22. Wow - I better do some man-scaping

23. These clippers suck, I didn't want to shave all of my chest hair

24. Great now I have a bald spot on my chest, can't wear that cute deep V I just got

25. I almost forgot I'm supposed to meet a new guy!

26. I hope he's cute

27. My friend wouldn't hook me up with someone non-cute, right?

28. Oh god, what if he's too cute for me? He's probably too cute for me

29. Nah, I got this

30. Shit I got side-tracked, I have to pick out something to wear!

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31. I have NOTHING to wear

32. This button down is cute, but it's too hot to wear that

33. I'm already sweating, I'm in hell... might as well do my hair

34. My hair sucks today, why can't I have a good hair day!?

35. Ok, time to check the closet again and pick something out

36. Nope, still nothing I want to wear in here

37. I should have shaved my face, this is not sexy stubble

38. This cover up is too dark for me now, ugh I need a tan

39. Are those crow-feet!? No, they are just laugh lines

40. SHIT I still have nothing to wear, kill me now

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41. Ok whatevs, I'm wearing the deep V and skinny jeans

42. I'm soooo late, my friend is literally going to kill me

43. I hate driving thru the city

44. Ok, almost here, of course there's no where to park

45. Gives up, pays $10 to park

46. Oooo I think that's my bestie and my date up the road

47. Hair flip, wave, smile

48. Oh he isn't too cute for me

49. He does dress better tho

50. ID's out, let's run this bitch

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51. This boy is cute but hella dumb

52. FRIEND, let's do shots!

53. Oh gawd that went down the wrong way, no more shots

54. This is my JAM, let's dance

55. I should just take off this shirt, I look like Magic Mike

56. It's already 2 a.m., should we head to after hours?

57. My tab was HOW much!? Ok, not eating for like a week

58. Ugh no one loves me

59. Whatever, I'll always have my G.B.F

60. And Netflix, Netflix and my couch will alwaays love me

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