Mark-Francis Vandelli as an elegant Doberman pinscher.
"I don't care much for walks," says Mark-Francis Doberman-Pinscher Vandelli Orlov-Romanovsky, "I prefer saunters."
"My collar is Valentino," he adds.
Spencer Matthews as a very lascivious pug.
"Hey babe," says Spencer Pugthews, playing with his chest hair and drooling slightly, "I went to Eton." He winks at you while breathing heavily.
Binky Felstead as a very lashy King Charles spaniel.
Binky actually owns a King Charles spaniel. People really do choose dogs that look like them.
Jamie Laing as a very eager Labrador.
"Haha, yea boi!" he barks, "I'll do anything for approval!"
Alex Mytton as a French bulldog.
As with Frenchies, many women find him inexplicably adorable. Also like a Frenchie, he looks like he has trouble breathing.
Rosie Fortescue as a big-eyed Chihuahua.
A petite frame and big eyes doesn't mean harmless, as proven by Chihuahuas and Rosie.
Ollie Locke as an Afghan hound.
Gentle, sweet, and with long, luxurious hair – Afghan hounds are a lot like Ollie Locke.
Victoria Barker Harber as a cat.
Because only a cat can replicate Victoria's ability to disapprove of someone with a single look.