So all of your friends went out and had babies.
1. Ninety percent of the time, this means your life becomes less meaningful unless you have a baby too.
2. “OMG! Do you want to hold him/her?”
After saying, “No, it’s really OK” five times.
3. “You would feel complete if you just settled down and had a baby or eight.”
4. Wine is no longer appropriate for play dates.
6. Apparently having children is the only acceptable reason to be tired.
“You don’t know TIRED until you’ve had kids.”
7. The “work–life balance” is more important for parents.
“You can stay late since you don’t have a family at home waiting for you.”
8. Nope, poop is still not cute no matter how cute the baby is.
9. Kids make people do weird things.
10. And all the moms are like this:
11. They bring the kids EVERYWHERE.
12. You’re left to drink alone at the bar.
…or under your desk.
13. You can’t get on Facebook anymore… or Instagram.
14. They judge everything you do.
15. Picking up a six-pack loses all meaning.
16. When you say you don’t want kids:
17. When they realize you’re calling them out on BuzzFeed:
- California Republican Kevin McCarthy has dropped out of the race to be the next speaker of the U.S. House. ›
- FIFA has suspended its president Sepp Blatter, secretary general Jerome Valcke, and vice-president Michel Platini for 90 days. ›
- Congressional Democrats are urging the TSA to change its screening procedures for transgender passengers. ›