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1. When you realize it's time to get ready for the gym: "I'll wait just one more hour. I have stuff to do."
2. When that hour passes: "I guess I should get dressed..."
3. When you finally leave your house and get in your car: "Should I stop at Starbucks first? No...I'll wait until I'm done."
4. When you arrive at the gym and there are no available parking spots: "Did the whole city decide it was the perfect time to work out?"
5. When there's no available equipment: "I see you over there, walking at a glacial pace on that treadmill and taking selfies. Hurry up and post it to Instagram so I can start jogging!"
6. When you're trying to figure out how to use a machine: "Play it cool. Play it cool. I hope no one notices how confused I really am inside."
7. When you start your work out routine: "Do I really want to run 3 miles? If it's 2 I could get home quicker."
8. When you see someone with questionable work out attire: "I know you didn't come here to exercise..."
9. When you're clearly out of shape: "If I stop jogging, will anyone notice that I couldn't even make it past a quarter mile?"
10. When you get to a comfortable exercising speed: "I really hope my headphones don't get caught on the bars. That would be...tragic."
11. When that one guy at the gym is getting way too excited about lunges: "Why is he making all that noise?"
12. When it feels like you've been working out for an eternity: "It's only been 10 minutes? And I haven't even burned more than 15 calories? Maybe it's time I seek out a personal trainer..."
13. While you're running: "If I ever find myself in a situation where I have to run for my life, I'm definitely not making it out alive."
14. When there's a floor of elliptical machines open and someone choses one next to you: "Did you have to use that specific one? Of all the machines in the gym? Really?"
15. When you see someone walk away from a machine after a rigorous workout without wiping it down: "Oh, hell no! You will not get away with this!"
16. When you see an acquaintance while working out at the gym or jogging outside: "I really hope they don't notice me because I'm not about to talk to anyone while I'm this sweaty and gross."
17. When you see all the people leave from yoga class: "Maybe I should pick up yoga too? Everyone looks so relaxed when they leave...plus the instructor is kinda hot."
18. When someone attempts to show you how to properly use a piece of equipment: "I like the way I've been using it. And I will continue to do it this way. I said good day, sir!"
19. When someone tries to make small chat in the locker room: "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you while listening to my music because you're half naked and still sweaty. Not OK."
20. When you're going through your phone trying to find the proper tunes for the workout: "I hate myself for not updating my playlists..."
21. When you're trying to find something interesting to watch on TV while doing exercises: "I hope no one judges me that I'm watching Maury right now..."
22. When you're close to the end of your workout: "I really can't wait to get home and eat."
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