30 Reasons Cats Are Terrible Friends

You don’t know why you even try.

1. When your stuff goes missing, you bet they have it.

“Oh, you wanted to wear these tonight? Fine. I guess.”

2. They have no shame. They’ll snoop.

3. You take them dancing, and they’re not even into it.

Why’d you even come with me? To ruin MY night???

4. If they’re in a bad mood, they’ll bring you down too.

“Oh yeah, playing with this string thing is super fun.”

5. Whenever they get a job, they’re fired in like two weeks.

You’re a terrible cashier.

6. Cats are extremely vain.

7. Super vain, even if they’re bizarre looking.

8. They spend so much money at the salon.

Via gph.is

Seriously, how do they even afford that?

9. EVERYTHING scares them.

“Was that a sock you flung across the room? Scared the shit out of me.”

10. But then they’ll attack something six times their size.

What is their logic?!

11. They hate ducks.

They probably hate all cute things.

12. Maybe ALL birds.

13. Cats never understand anything you say to them.

“Huuhh???”

14. Anything can distract them.

It’s like they don’t even care about what you’re saying.

15. They’re very dismissive when you share your opinion with them.

“Eh, whatever”

SHUT UP CAT! I’m trying to talk!!

16. Backseat driving. They do it ALL THE TIME.

Via gph.is

I know, I should have taken that exit. I just missed it. Stop making me feel like a failure.

17. They have the oddest friends.

18. What did I tell you? THE *oddest* friends.

19. But their friends think the WORLD of them.

 

It’s kind of annoying.

20. All of them always hang out together and bother you.

21. They take up SO MUCH ROOM.

22. They never want you to get any work done.

23. They’re so needy.

Where am I supposed to find all this milk that you want?

24. They’re SO forgetful…

 

Obviously, this one forgot she hates ducks.

25. You can tell them the most AMAZING story…

…about how you defended an old lady from a robber by beating him up…

26. …but cats never show any real emotions.

That feels like a very obligatory high-five. Did you even mean it?

27. They’re SO hard to impress!

Is anything ever good enough??

28. Because they’re SO well-read…

29. …and have so much musical talent.

You’re not a real DJ, cat.

30. Basically, they’re just awful.

GET OFF ME, CAT.

Next week, 30 reasons why monkeys are the worst musicians.

Until then, let’s all hate cats like we already do.

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