1. Canada’s (allegedly) crack-smoking mayors are stronger than the U.S.’s (allegedly) crack-smoking mayors.
Sorry, Marion Barry. You’re old, old news.
4. Their public transportation is unnervingly polite.
5. Traffic is a stone-cold nightmare.
6. Their awesome health care makes everyone else look like jerks.
7. They have glow-in-the-dark dinosaur quarters. Now we want to throw away all our dumb, boring American money.
You can use your stupid non-glow-in-the-dark money to buy them here.
8. FACT: They have an OPEC-style stranglehold on the world’s maple syrup supply.
Quebec alone produces 2/3 of the world’s maple syrup. Think about what would happen if they decided to turn off the spigot for just one day: We’d all be forced to choke down our pancakes with vile, corn syrup-based Mrs. Butterworth garbage-sauce.
Three facts about Ryan Gosling:
1. He was born in Ontario.
2. He is obsessed with animal welfare.
3. He has set an unattainable worldwide standard of dreamboatness. Thanks a lot Ryan Gosling.