1. GREET APPROPRIATELY
I. No hug comes without a bro handshake first.
II. No hug comes without a pat on the back after.
III. No high fives are given to overeager bros.
2. CHOOSE THE RIGHT URINAL
I. No urinal encroachment.
II. No short urinals, unless you’re a child or a man-child.
III. No loud dick shaking.
3. DON’T LET YOUR GIRL RUN YOUR LIFE
I. No dance classes.
II. No reading the same book together as a couples bonding activity.
III. No sharing her clothes even if they’re “unisex” and you like the “silky feel.”
4. DON’T LET YOUR FRIEND’S GIRL RUN YOUR LIFE
I. No dating your friend’s girl before, during, or after their relationship.
II. No telling your friend’s girl about your friend’s other girl.
III. No asking your friend’s girl if she has any “biddies” to set you up with.
5. PRANK RESPECTFULLY
I. No broken bones.
II. No hijacking their phones.
III. No resulting loans.
6. MANAGE YOUR PORN
I. No using your roommate’s laptop.
II. No writing “reviews” on the message board.
III. No waiting up late for live shows to start.
7. EAT LIKE A MAN
I. No cutting your pizza with a fork and knife.
II. No thinking you’re cute if you get foam on your nose from a cappuccino.
III. No asking the waiter to cut your hamburger bun in half.
8. DRINK LIKE A MAN
I. No asking for a “brewski.”
II. No colored straws, mini umbrellas, or drinks named after movie characters.
III. No shouting “shots for everyone!” without buying shots for everyone.
9. DON’T BE WEIRD AT THE GYM
I. No running with “toe shoes.”
II. No looking at your abs in the gym mirror.
III. No group stretching except for extremely tight circumstances.
10. BE A GOOD GROOMSMAN
I. No skipping out on the bachelor party because you have a work thing.
II. No making a long speech about how lonely you are.
III. No catching the garter.
11. KNOW HOW TO TAKE ALL-BRO PICS
I. No demanding that everyone look serious and tough.
II. No touching if no one else is touching.
III. No forgetting your beach shirt.
12. REGULATE FLATULENCE
I. No denying it.
II. No forcing it.
III. No talking about it like it’s art.
13. NO DICK SELFIES
I. No dick selfies for your girlfriend.
II. No dick selfies for yourself.
III. No dick selfies for your political future.
14. MAINTAIN YOUR BROMANCE
I. No driving separately to the game.
II. No being too busy for Mario Kart.
III. No reservations about personal space.