If you want to know why superstitionados do the things that they do, then you need to throw logic out the door, because having a superstition is all about going with your gut and keeping the winning tradition alive.
Well that, and some other stuff too…
2. For instance, you have to wear the same outfit for every single game.
It’s called your “gameday gear” and it serves as your fan uniform. If you don’t wear it, you might as well be rooting for the other team.
3. And you better not wash any part of that outfit.
What are you trying to do? Scrub away the wins? Don’t be stupid.
4. And let’s not forget, if your team is winning, nobody can move.
Any change in the room might disrupt the cosmos and cause your kicker to blow the field goal. What? You don’t know how satellites work. Or cosmos, for that matter.
Now for the most part, having a superstition isn’t all that bad when your team is performing well. Sure, you can’t move or do anything, but watching the game takes less effort.
The hard part comes when your team is losing. That’s when things start to become stressful and that is where our lesson truly begins.
6. When things start to turn bad, the first move is always to move around the objects in the room.
You know, feng shui that shit up.
7. It could be as simple as turning a bottle around 180 degrees.
Or continually spinning it until it feels “right.” You’ll know it when you know it.
8. Or standing up for a little while.
It’s like when you try and make yourself bigger during a bear attack. Only different.
9. Did you try holding your breath and hovering over your seat during a crucial play?
This move is the yoga of sports.
10. If that doesn’t work, it’s clearly time for people to move around now.
The team is losing, you shouldn’t be comfortable anyway.
11. Basically, just play “Hot and Cold” with the things around you and see what works.
To quote the great Tupac Shakur, “It’s time for us as a people to start makin’ some changes.” It’s safe to assume he was talking about a sports superstition when he wrote that.
12. When you finally find the perfect combination of moves, it’s time to shut down.
Look, you’ve solved the puzzle. Now you just have to make sure not to screw it up.
13. And that means no talking.
Everybody knows you don’t talk about the no-hitter. Or any time the game starts to swing in your favor. Or any sort of positive talk, in general, that might jinx the team. Obviously.
14. And definitely no celebrating until the game is officially over.
The unthinkable can happen in sports. Even if you’re up by 30 with under a minute left, you cannot begin celebrating until the final whistle has blown. Nothing hurts more than a premature celebration.
Oh and one last thing…
16. Just because all of this seems crazy, doesn’t mean the person with a superstition is insane.
You try controlling a game from your living room thousands of miles away and then we’ll see who’s crazy.