For the sake of this post, all search terms were done in Incognito Mode — so the results wouldn’t be customized — using a search for city + team + “fans”. So for the 49ers, the Google Image search term was “San Francisco 49ers fans”. And then we just selected the very first image, and tried to make sense of it, assuming everything in it was a true and total representation of the team’s fans. Got it? Cool. Here we go:
2. San Francisco 49ers
You know when someone’s on a game show and they’re not sure what door to pick, so they ask the audience for help, and everyone in the audience is like, “Two, pick two, three, door one!”? That’s basically the 49ers fan base.
3. Chicago Bears
Bears fans have two things in common: sensitive eyes and the inability to close their mouth.
4. Cincinnati Bengals
Bengals fans are a confused bunch. Half of them are trying to be Green Bay fans, as evidenced by the orange cheesehead, and the other half actually are Green Bay fans.
5. Buffalo Bills
The ladies in Buffalo love Trent Edwards. And football. And rock n’ roll. And the men just love the freedom of jorts. In fact, all Bills fans are pro-denim.
6. Denver Broncos
Broncos fans absolutely love “Cat in the Hat” hats. They also can’t decide if it’s hot or cold out.
7. Cleveland Browns
All Cleveland Browns fans look alike. And don’t you DARE throw a bottle away in front of one of them because, hey, that could be a helmet ornament.
8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Buccaneers fans have a bit of an identity issue. They can’t decide if they want to be a wrestler, a unicorn or that lady on that lanyard that is clearly not that man.
9. Arizona Cardinals
Cardinals fans love red and all variations of it, like pink and other red.
10. San Diego Chargers
All female Chargers fans are part-time models. You can tell that they’re only part-time because they still use Razr phones.
11. Kansas City Chiefs
Chiefs fans think they own people, which may or may not be legal in Kansas City. I don’t know. I don’t know the laws there.
12. Indianapolis Colts
Indianapolis Colts fans express their dissatisfaction with the team in one of two ways: The men cross their arms, and the women touch their chin with one hand.
13. Dallas Cowboys
All Cowboys fans look like an alien punter decided to join the Top Gun academy.
14. Miami Dolphins
Dolphins fans don’t care what you wear, just as long as it’s short-sleeved.
15. Philadelphia Eagles
Eagles fans cannot wear the same hat as anyone in their group of friends. And if you’re a lefty, your hat has to be REALLY different.
16. Atlanta Falcons
Falcons fans always root for the two-point conversion to start the game. The women make banners to mark such an occasion.
17. New York Giants
New York Giants fans can only be heard, not seen. Much like a ninja, only louder than that.
18. Jacksonville Jaguars
If there’s one tradition all Jaguars fans embrace, it’s the seventh inning stretch. It’s sort of along the lines of the “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” mentality, only one fan yells, “It’s the seventh inning somewhere” and everyone gets up and stretches. It’s great fun.
19. New York Jets
Young Jets fans duke it out with Hulk hands for tickets to the game. As you can tell, this kid was the winner, and his poppa is so very proud.
20. Detroit Lions
Ummm… Lions fans need therapy? Maybe because they’re always wearing a football helmet wherever they go?
21. Green Bay Packers
Packers fans have no idea how mirrors work.
22. Carolina Panthers
The Wisconsin Badgers have the “Jump Around” tradition, and now the Panthers have that tradition, since nobody actually goes to the game and they all watch it from some place with astroturf as carpet.
23. New England Patriots
Patriots fans have two heads and no neck, and they all have a twin.
24. Oakland Raiders
Raiders fans hate colors and have probably never seen an episode of Reading Rainbow.
25. St. Louis Rams
Okay, seriously? This man is clearly going to die from a ram, jacked up on steroids, choking him to death. I can only assume that’s the fate of every Rams fan.
26. Baltimore Ravens
Ravens fans love the “Y.M.C.A”. And “In The Navy.” Also “Macho Man”. Pretty much any Village People song. Is that group from Baltimore? Doesn’t matter, because that’s where they’re loved.
27. Washington Redskins
You know the movie “Mad Max”? Okay, well replace the black leather with an indian headdress, and Mel Gibson with Josh Gad, and you have every single Redskins fan.
28. New Orleans Saints
Saints fans are either white people or begrudgingly appreciative clowns. They also confuse plastic cups as megaphones because white people be crazy.
29. Seattle Seahwaks
Seattle Seahawks fans look like upset swamp tourists. Or someone who just realized that the person streaking on the field is his mom (hint: the dude to the left).
30. Pittsburgh Steelers
As a Steelers fan, unless you’re waving a towel, you cannot watch the game. YOU CAN’T WATCH IT!
31. Houston Texans
Much like how cows wear bells, Texans fans must wear oversized necklaces, so they don’t get lost or for whatever reason cows wear bells.
32. Tennessee Titans
Titans fans are basically Frank Caliendo with a silly hat and face paint.