Judging Every NFL Fan Base Using Only Google Image Search

This is what happens when you generalize all fans based on one photo.

For the sake of this post, all search terms were done in Incognito Mode — so the results wouldn’t be customized — using a search for city + team + “fans”. So for the 49ers, the Google Image search term was “San Francisco 49ers fans”. And then we just selected the very first image, and tried to make sense of it, assuming everything in it was a true and total representation of the team’s fans. Got it? Cool. Here we go:

ID: 1548804

2. San Francisco 49ers

You know when someone’s on a game show and they’re not sure what door to pick, so they ask the audience for help, and everyone in the audience is like, “Two, pick two, three, door one!”? That’s basically the 49ers fan base.

ID: 1543702

3. Chicago Bears

Bears fans have two things in common: sensitive eyes and the inability to close their mouth.

ID: 1543786

4. Cincinnati Bengals

Bengals fans are a confused bunch. Half of them are trying to be Green Bay fans, as evidenced by the orange cheesehead, and the other half actually are Green Bay fans.

ID: 1543838

5. Buffalo Bills

The ladies in Buffalo love Trent Edwards. And football. And rock n’ roll. And the men just love the freedom of jorts. In fact, all Bills fans are pro-denim.

ID: 1543897

6. Denver Broncos

Broncos fans absolutely love “Cat in the Hat” hats. They also can’t decide if it’s hot or cold out.

ID: 1544140

7. Cleveland Browns

All Cleveland Browns fans look alike. And don’t you DARE throw a bottle away in front of one of them because, hey, that could be a helmet ornament.

ID: 1544227

8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Buccaneers fans have a bit of an identity issue. They can’t decide if they want to be a wrestler, a unicorn or that lady on that lanyard that is clearly not that man.

ID: 1544292

9. Arizona Cardinals

John W. McDonough/SI / Via sportsillustrated.cnn.com

Cardinals fans love red and all variations of it, like pink and other red.

ID: 1544407

10. San Diego Chargers

John W. McDonough/SI / Via sportsillustrated.cnn.com

All female Chargers fans are part-time models. You can tell that they’re only part-time because they still use Razr phones.

ID: 1544454

11. Kansas City Chiefs

AP Photo/Colin E Braley / Via kctv5.com

Chiefs fans think they own people, which may or may not be legal in Kansas City. I don’t know. I don’t know the laws there.

ID: 1544500

12. Indianapolis Colts

Indianapolis Colts fans express their dissatisfaction with the team in one of two ways: The men cross their arms, and the women touch their chin with one hand.

ID: 1544565

13. Dallas Cowboys

All Cowboys fans look like an alien punter decided to join the Top Gun academy.

ID: 1544600

14. Miami Dolphins

sarelkromer/Flickr / Via biztechmagazine.com

Dolphins fans don’t care what you wear, just as long as it’s short-sleeved.

ID: 1544707

15. Philadelphia Eagles

Eagles fans cannot wear the same hat as anyone in their group of friends. And if you’re a lefty, your hat has to be REALLY different.

ID: 1544794

16. Atlanta Falcons

AP/ Rich Addicks / Via espn.go.com

Falcons fans always root for the two-point conversion to start the game. The women make banners to mark such an occasion.

ID: 1544937

17. New York Giants

Jim O’Connor-USA TODAY Sports / Via bigblueview.com

New York Giants fans can only be heard, not seen. Much like a ninja, only louder than that.

ID: 1544958

18. Jacksonville Jaguars

If there’s one tradition all Jaguars fans embrace, it’s the seventh inning stretch. It’s sort of along the lines of the “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” mentality, only one fan yells, “It’s the seventh inning somewhere” and everyone gets up and stretches. It’s great fun.

ID: 1544983

19. New York Jets

Courtesy of Michael J. LeBrecht II / 1Deuce3 Photography / Via sikids.com

Young Jets fans duke it out with Hulk hands for tickets to the game. As you can tell, this kid was the winner, and his poppa is so very proud.

ID: 1545193

20. Detroit Lions

Ummm… Lions fans need therapy? Maybe because they’re always wearing a football helmet wherever they go?

ID: 1545222

21. Green Bay Packers

Packers fans have no idea how mirrors work.

ID: 1545256

22. Carolina Panthers

The Wisconsin Badgers have the “Jump Around” tradition, and now the Panthers have that tradition, since nobody actually goes to the game and they all watch it from some place with astroturf as carpet.

ID: 1545303

23. New England Patriots

Patriots fans have two heads and no neck, and they all have a twin.

ID: 1545333

24. Oakland Raiders

Raiders fans hate colors and have probably never seen an episode of Reading Rainbow.

ID: 1545452

25. St. Louis Rams

Okay, seriously? This man is clearly going to die from a ram, jacked up on steroids, choking him to death. I can only assume that’s the fate of every Rams fan.

ID: 1545471

26. Baltimore Ravens

Ravens fans love the “Y.M.C.A”. And “In The Navy.” Also “Macho Man”. Pretty much any Village People song. Is that group from Baltimore? Doesn’t matter, because that’s where they’re loved.

ID: 1545499

27. Washington Redskins

You know the movie “Mad Max”? Okay, well replace the black leather with an indian headdress, and Mel Gibson with Josh Gad, and you have every single Redskins fan.

ID: 1545549

28. New Orleans Saints

AP / Eric Bay / Via lehighvalleylive.com

Saints fans are either white people or begrudgingly appreciative clowns. They also confuse plastic cups as megaphones because white people be crazy.

ID: 1545570

29. Seattle Seahwaks

Steven Bisig-USA TODAY Sports / Via bleacherreport.com

Seattle Seahawks fans look like upset swamp tourists. Or someone who just realized that the person streaking on the field is his mom (hint: the dude to the left).

ID: 1545581

30. Pittsburgh Steelers

As a Steelers fan, unless you’re waving a towel, you cannot watch the game. YOU CAN’T WATCH IT!

ID: 1545665

31. Houston Texans

Bob Levey / Getty Images / Via sportsillustrated.cnn.com

Much like how cows wear bells, Texans fans must wear oversized necklaces, so they don’t get lost or for whatever reason cows wear bells.

ID: 1545686

32. Tennessee Titans

JOE HOWELL / Via knoxnews.com

Titans fans are basically Frank Caliendo with a silly hat and face paint.

ID: 1545700

33. Minnesota Vikings

All Vikings fans are confused drag queens.

ID: 1545731

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