1.Having to double- and triple-check the alarm on your phone before going to bed, because without it you won't wake up until noon.
2.So you have to set a whole bunch of alarms, just to be safe.
3.Which effectively trains you to wake up and then immediately fall back to sleep without ever really being conscious.
4.Making the alarms practically useless, so you have to turn the volume way up because surely something that loud will bother you enough to get out of bed.
5.But it doesn't because the sleep between those alarms is the best sleep in the world.
6.And even if you only have two minutes left before you need to wake up, you're going for that DEEP SLUMBER because the blankets feel better and the pillows feel softer in the morning, so you burrito yourself in them.
7.Plus, you need to reward yourself for even thinking about waking up. I mean, if you really had to get up, you could, like if there was a fire or something, but there's not. You've earned these two minutes of sleep and it would be wasteful not to use them.
8.Only to later realize that you should have probably gotten up about 15 minutes ago because now you are more tired than ever before. So you have an internal argument about why you always do this to yourself.
9.Which leads to the ultimate question: Do you wake up now or take the day off and sleep?
10.So you decide to do a test run to see just how sleepy you really are. If you're still paralyzingly tired after 10 more minutes, you're calling in sick.
11.But then you start to feel guilty because you're not really sick, so you turn off all of your alarms as a deadly consequential challenge to yourself. YOU WILL WAKE UP!
12.But first you have to check Instagram because people might have posted stuff while you were asleep.
13.And then Instagram leads to Facebook and Twitter, and now you'll just do whatever to delay getting out of bed.
14.And before you get out of bed, where it's cold and not dream-like, you have to mentally pick out what you're going to wear because you're all about saving time.
15.Unfortunately, this is not easy because you just woke up and your brain's not working yet.
16.So you just stare at your closet, imagining the potential outfits, and wondering whether people will judge you for wearing the same top twice in one week.
17.Luckily, you're now running super late, so you can wear that top and get away with it because "running late" is an excuse for everything. Like five more minutes of sleep.
18.And despite hating yourself all morning for doing this yet again, you know you'll do it again tomorrow because there's nothing like that post-snooze nap.
