1. Not racking their weights.
Coming back to finish that bench set anytime soon, broski? I’ve been awkwardly glancing it for 15 minutes now.
At this point I figure you’re done with it for the day, but if you do actually come back after that long…
I kinda really hate you. For now.
3. Could be worse. You could leave your weight plates all over the floor.
I’ll skip the part where I’m supposed to marvel at how swole you must be to lift such incredible weight, especially since I’m skipping the part about getting paid to pick up your shit.
4. Or misuse your machine.
That sure is a small amount of weight to have up on a squat rack— oh, you’re using it for bicep curls. Okay then. I’ll just give up on things making sense today.
5. Is that person just kicking back, chillaxin’ all cool on the leg press?
Y’know what’s great for sitting? Your couch. At home.
6. Those that are working hard, though, will let us know by grunting and screaming with every rep.
Y’okay, duder? You sound like you’re trying to pass a bowling ball.
7. Maybe you could get to use something if this other guy wasn’t circuit training across five different machines.
So apparently you’ve got the incline press, the Smith machine, the rope pulldown, the preacher curl and that pair of dumbbells in the middle of the floor, all reserved for the next hour. Cool.
8. If you’ve got a heavy lift, be careful about finding a spotter.
Thanks again for walking away in the middle of the set.
9. Although that’s better than the dingus who aimlessly wanders right in front of you in the middle of the lift.
Please, brush by me again. I only have 300-some pounds propped up across my back.
10. All that aside, there are no collars. The collars are gone. The collars are gone.
I count three benches, one decline, one incline, three squat racks, one preacher curl, and one military press; 10 machines, and only four collars, all being used by that guy and that guy.
I just, I can’t even—
11. Screw it. To the treadmill it is. Until the person next to you farts.
Right when I’m in a position to be sucking air. Mkay then.