1. Bigger is Better
Our afroed typist sits alone at his computer contemplating hair products.
2. Picking Out The Hairs
Note the messy bed in the background. Messy bed = messy head
3. Art is Garfunkel
Art is Life. Art is Garfunkel. Same Thing.
4. Statement Piece
This afro wants to make a statement. And it succeeds. It states “I no not what I am doing”.
The person with an afro taking a selfie. Unfortunately, not as rare as it once was. He’s also mad about something. Probably the afro.
6. Why Can’t We Be Friends?
Our hero in this picture believes himself to be “The Cool One” in his friend group. The Evidence? He is looking at his nails. He is, however, “The One Everyone Kinda Puts Up With”.
7. To And Fro
This sepia-toned untrimmed halo of an afro positively glows with the healing power of a certain type of hair follicle.
8. International Afro
This man is a “footballer”. Imagine his locks swaying on the “pitch”, lustily moving in time to his movements, encouraging the crowd to follow his every move, beckoning defenders into its deadly embrace. Scared? You should be.
9. The Future
Know This: This boy grew up into Conan the Barbarian. Not really, but wouldn’t that be cool? He drives a bus. Or does he?
10. Not Fake
Unfortunately for this man, it appears his head is being consumed by some sort of unholy follicle monster that is prone to heavy shedding.
11. Like a Rolling Fro
I first met this man in 6th grade gym class. He was murder on the dodgeball court. He later became international superstar Bob Dylan. We fell out of touch. He has an afro.
12. Right Said Fred Said Afro
“Look at me!!!!!” this afro screams. LOOK AT ME! I am AFRO! I will do this for a living someday. I also enjoy putting 49 Fruit Gushers into my mouth all at once.
13. Double Trouble
Double Trouble / Squeak and bubble / toil and muddle / Afro Huddle / Brahe and Hubble (to the tune of “Push It”
This Oregon (he pronounces it Ore-a-gone) fan strums that guitar as skillfully as he brushes out his hair. It is an impressive thing to watch. The King of Belgium once observed this ritual for 13 nights straight. He was never the same.
15. Ignore Hendrix? Impossible!
For a second dare to attempt the impossible and try to ignore Jimi Hendrix. Instead try to focus on the lesser beings to his right and left. Once this is done, notice the hair. The loft of their hair perhaps buoyed by Jimi himself. Who can say?
16. Seth Rogaine
A mischievous comedic actor whom I played opposite in an 11th grade production of “The Odd Couple” has added some playfulness to his fro. A twinkle of levity one might say.
17. Suss Out This Fro, Man.
Josh Sussman has never been afraid of the clarinet, which I imagine he plays with a soulful profundity. He might be famous for something else. But it’s probably his life-changing free jazz clarinet solos.
18. Make Sure That Fro Doesn’t Have Dustin It
Mr. Hoffman, my understudy in an off-Broadway play entitled “Long Way From The Office” has done remarkable thing in his portrayal of a man unafraid of his hair. The man Hoffman is playing is named Robby.