The 18 Stages Of An Antisocial Person’s Night Out

Society dictates that we should interact with fellow human beings in various settings on a semi-regular basis, but…like…do we have to?

1. Hesitantly, you agree to go to a bar/party/shindig.

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2. There’s a chance you might even get excited.

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Woo.

3. But then you actually reach your destination.

And it’s like no.

4. You push your way through hordes of people just to get a drink.

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5. And then proceed to complain incessantly about the crowd.

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People are the worst.

6. Next you start to get annoyed at your friends who promised that this would be fun.

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7. Despite your endless list of grievances, they still manage to convince you to dance.

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And you stay right around here.

8. You nonchalantly sway your upper body back and forth.

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It’s your signature move.

9. Until step four starts to pay off.

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That’s when the magic happens.

10. I mean, just look at you.

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11. That lasts for approximately three to five minutes.

Fullfill social obligation - check.

12. You’re quickly reminded why you didn’t want to be there in the first place.

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The people. Ugh, the people.

13. So you’re thrilled when someone suggests leaving.

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14. You silently congratulate yourself for not being the first one to say it.

Well done.

15. You give the classiest of farewells to your compatriots.

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See ya never.

16. And put your game face on in order to reach the exit as quickly as possible.

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17. Maybe you get some deliciousness on the way home.

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AKA “The Best Part of the Night.”

18. And vow that next time someone suggests going out, you won’t be as easily persuaded.

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