The 18 Stages Of An Antisocial Person’s Night Out

Society dictates that we should interact with fellow human beings in various settings on a semi-regular basis, but…like…do we have to?

1. Hesitantly, you agree to go to a bar/party/shindig.

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2. There’s a chance you might even get excited.

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Woo.

3. But then you actually reach your destination.

And it’s like no.

4. You push your way through hordes of people just to get a drink.

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5. And then proceed to complain incessantly about the crowd.

People are the worst.

6. Next you start to get annoyed at your friends who promised that this would be fun.

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7. Despite your endless list of grievances, they still manage to convince you to dance.

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And you stay right around here.

8. You nonchalantly sway your upper body back and forth.

It’s your signature move.

9. Until step four starts to pay off.

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That’s when the magic happens.

10. I mean, just look at you.

11. That lasts for approximately three to five minutes.

Fullfill social obligation - check.

12. You’re quickly reminded why you didn’t want to be there in the first place.

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The people. Ugh, the people.

13. So you’re thrilled when someone suggests leaving.

14. You silently congratulate yourself for not being the first one to say it.

Well done.

15. You give the classiest of farewells to your compatriots.

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See ya never.

16. And put your game face on in order to reach the exit as quickly as possible.

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17. Maybe you get some deliciousness on the way home.

AKA “The Best Part of the Night.”

18. And vow that next time someone suggests going out, you won’t be as easily persuaded.

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