1. Raccoon Suit Mario, Super Mario Bros. 3
And just like that, you’re into furries…
2. April O’Neil, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game
This anchorwoman breaks news AND hearts. COWABUNGA!
3. Bill “Mad Dog” Rizer, Contra
4. Princess Toadstool, Super Mario Bros. 2
Princess Toadstool isn’t just a total babe, she’s also the best character in the game.
5. Pit, Kid Icarus
This gorgeous Greek eye candy will LITERALLY shoot an arrow through your heart.
6. Wendy, Maniac Mansion
According to her bio, Wendy is an aspiring writer, but she’s already written the book on hotness. YOWZA!
7. Cheetah, World Class Track Meet
Just LOOK at those thighs, they’re like FOUR pixels wide. #JACKED
8. Princess Zelda, The Legend of Zelda
Excuse YOU, Princess…for being so damn fine!
9. The “medium” player, Ice Hockey
Not too husky, not too skinny, “medium guy” is juuuuuust right.
10. Samus, Metroid
Best. Ending. Ever.
11. Nana, Ice Climber
This arctic hottie oughta CLIMB out of that parka!
12. Akira Dragon, Tecmo World Wrestling
This should be the whole game, just watching him lift. It’s perfect.
13. Dark Queen, Battletoads
Dang, girl, how do you fit all that into only eight bits???