Brought to you by Kale…
Brought to you by Kale…
They can still feed it to ducks.
PTNSF (Post-Traumatic Non-Sufficient Funds)
Zara knows how to get free press. I wonder if this will translate into increased sales. I can’t think of any other reason someone would do something this stupid.
Before the internet, it was possible to think that cats are graceful.
“It’s a tea for people who own frog slaves.”
If she didn’t have the disclaimer at the beginning, including: Instead of, you know, asking a woman, a lot of men attempt to decode our “hidden” messages instead. …then I’d have gotten pretty mad. So, not a fail; it would have been a fail if this was meant as a serious post. But this post is poking fun at these strange myths.
The funny thing about Christian anti-abortion protestors, claiming the word of God states that life begins at conception clearly did not read the Bible. Here’s what the Bible actually says about this issue—I’ll sum it up; in most passages, life doesn’t actually begin until the baby is a month old. As for the actual scripture: http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/says_about/abortion.html What the Bible says about Abortion Abortion is not murder. A fetus is not considered a human life. If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman’s husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine. And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life. — Exodus 21:22-23 The Bible places no value on fetuses or infants less than one month old. And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver. — Leviticus 27:6 Fetuses and infants less than one month old are not considered persons. Number the children of Levi after the house of their fathers, by their families: every male from a month old and upward shalt thou number them. And Moses numbered them according to the word of the LORD. — Numbers 3:15-16 God sometimes approves of killing fetuses. And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? … Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. — Numbers 31:15-17
(Some of the non-virgin women must have been pregnant. They would have been killed along with their unborn fetuses.) Give them, O LORD: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts. — Hosea 9:14 Yea, though they bring forth, yet will I slay even the beloved fruit of their womb. — Hosea 9:16 Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up. — Hosea 13:16 God sometimes kills newborn babies to punish their parents. Because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die. — 2 Samuel 12:14 God sometimes causes abortions by cursing unfaithful wives. The priest shall say unto the woman, The LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the LORD doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell. And this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen. …
And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people. And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed. — Numbers 5:21-21, 27-28 God’s law sometimes requires the execution (by burning to death) of pregnant women. Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt. — Genesis 38:24
Didn’t catch the shark, but caught a helluva video.
#43-#45 It’s areola, not nipple.
I missed 8 out of 10.
I’ve been reading about this issue, and it seems that many of these looters aren’t actually from Ferguson. This recent Buzzfeed post shows volunteer residents who are trying to clean up this mess: http://www.buzzfeed.com/tasneemnashrulla/inspiring-images-of-volunteers-cleaning-up-after-violence-in
So is nobody else old enough to remember Stuart Smalley? *sigh*
I thought about that as well; if Mr. Brown is the person in the video of the strong-armed robbery, he may have dropped the cigars when he put his hands up as his friends claim he had his hands up. He might have handed the cigars to his friends or someone else. This was a big guy who probably couldn’t run as quickly as his lightweight friends. Best not to have the evidence on you if you can’t make a run for it. I do admit I don’t know all details of the case, though.
Well, @JustFine this didn’t make national news: http://www.connectmidmissouri.com/news/story.aspx?id=1082733#.U_I5h_ldXn8 I’m in another state and I wasn’t aware of the issue until I saw the above comment about it.
I have avoided Michael Bay, so I didn’t know he was so into lensflare. I thought JJ Abrams was the lensflare guy.
Yes—it seems there could be potential for this app to be used for harm.
From his nasty attitude toward someone who isn’t close to him, you can imagine what he has done to fuck up those who are close to him.
No wonder they’re having problems. It’s a laser cat. Also, did anybody find the newslady a bit over done? So blonde and so much makeup.
Because drunk bitches won’t rape themselves. #WhyWeNeedFrat
Maybe they don’t NEED specifically his artwork, but they do need artwork, otherwise they wouldn’t have asked for it. Dumbass.
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog and steals his toy and makes him watch.
Can We Guess Your Taste In Music? You got: Living Encyclopedia Of Music
Your music knowledge is vast and seriously impressive. Your taste transcends genres and decades and you pull music recs and references from your pocket like magic. That pretty much sums me up. I don’t actually have a specific favorite.
Somebody better call the Whambulance for him. He’s butthurt and he has sore balls that need SPAAAAAACE!
She has an amazing ability not just to miss the point, but to go all the way around it and not even come close to it by accident. Now the creationists, global warming deniers, and other Republican fundamentalists who hate science and rational thought will have more entertainment choices besides Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.
He looks like a young version of Starburns from Community.
I’m one of the few who enjoyed season 4, so hooray!
I’m not a religious person, but I think the restaurant owner should be allowed to do this. It’s like a senior discount, etc.
Lightning doesn’t strike twice; especially not with the same schtick.
When my grandmother’s combination of diabetes and dementia got so bad we couldn’t take care of her ourselves, we did have to take her to a nursing home. What was really sad was that the nurses often commented on how pleased they were to see me and my parents visiting her so often. They seemed to act as though no one else visits but a couple of times a year, if even that much. I did find that nursing homes have waiting lists, and some people can’t be as selective about where they need to take a relative. They might have to take their relative to a nursing home that is hours away, making visits extremely difficult. But, there are so many who live very close to a nursing home and never visit.
Another thing people like #10 don’t realize—it’s not like kids are the only thing that wake people up. My husband got up to pee at 4AM and that woke me up.
@jaeahr thinks some people deserve a fucking medal for not knowing how to use birth control.
Thank you for this. It is absolutely perfect. So full of win.
This may sound odd, but I’m usually already smiling. Wonder what happens when someone isn’t telling you to smile? They move on to the next line in their pathetic arsenal: “Hey baby, whatcha doin?” Yeah, they try to get in your pants. Ladies are far better off being standoffish and bitchy. There’s a reason we do it. Because if we let our guard down, it’s perceived as an open invitation. If I’m already smiling and I get a sleazy pick-up line, or if I’m not smiling and I am pestered or even ORDERED to smile, I just walk by as if I didn’t hear the remark. Most dumb guys are at least smart enough to realize I’m not making myself open to being their target. I do make one exception. If it’s a little old man with an earnest smile, I do smile back. They’re old and they almost never say anything sleazy. (*shudders* Yeah, there’s a reason I included “almost never”.) So if some guy is about 80, I figure they get a free pass to say, “Hello, pretty lady. You’d sure look a whole lot purdier if you’d smile.” I figure since you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, it’s a whole lot easier to be pleasant than school ‘em on how irritating and degrading it can be. They grew up in a different time and they’re past the point of learning to “get with the times”. Feminism was pretty big during their time, and if they didn’t learn during the 70s to be more respectful, it sure as hell ain’t gonna happen now.
@ewj93861 Nope. You are definitely a man. You have no idea what it’s like to be a woman who is routinely bothered by men on the street. It’s basically a pick-up technique—because if a woman smiles, that’s an excuse to try to “make a move”. It’s a test, to see if a woman is compliant. It’s not really so scientific, though. Guys see other guys doing it to flirt with women, so they use the same technique. Here’s a good excerpt from an article that explains WHY men demand a smile: http://hellobeautiful.com/2013/10/11/men-who-tell-women-to-smile/ What is it with men feeling the need to tell women to smile? I was beyond annoyed and angry. How dare this man give me an order on how to conduct myself!? While on the train, still pissed, I realized this isn’t new. From birth, little girls are taught to smile. We’re taught to smile during school photos, prom, dance recitals and other social gatherings. Smiling is considered feminine, becoming and welcoming. But it isn’t the smile that’s the problem, it’s what the smile represents. In the male dominated society we live in, women are supposed to smile through it all and leave no evidence life may be coming undone. We’re suppose to smile through the hurt. When we’ve encountered sexism at the office, or have been solicited for the umpteenth time by a guy on the street, we’re suppose to smile and mosey on about our business. Unlike men who get to proudly showcase anger, you know, that emotion on a woman that isn’t always “attractive.” “You’re too pretty to not smile.” So swamp donkeys get the opportunity to walk down the street regularly, but I have to be Mary Poppins 24/7? Sometimes women don’t smile because they’re thinking. Sometimes women don’t smile because they’re confused, or need to get their bearings as they try to undo the tangled mess of their earplugs before connecting it to their smart phone while holding their caramel macchiato. That balancing act alone takes focus! Sometimes women don’t smile because smiling is often seen as welcoming and dammit, we don’t always want to talk to people! And to be even more frank, sometimes women don’t smile because (wait for it) we’re having a bad day…and that’s okay! But it’s the audacity that some men think they can just fire off an order to a woman and she should just snap to, that annoys me. On top of the countless male relationship experts commenting on how we should carry ourselves, men have been under the belief they now can make comments about our physical appearance, even if its as small as a smile, as if they’re doing us a favor.
Nope, they’re just topless with handbras.
Die in a fire, asshole.
I think sometime people just “heart” the fact that someone did a story on it, and the way the story was done. It’s not always approval of the issue which is reported.