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1. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor in Alaska but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
4. What's the definition of a will? (Come on- it's a dead giveaway)!
5. The other day I held the door for a clown. It was a nice jester.
6. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
7. I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. I think I might've dyed a little inside.
8. The cannibal was late to dinner so his family gave him the cold shoulder.
9. The window fell into the incinerator; it sure was a pane in the ash to retrieve.
10. Two melons want to get married but their parents told them they cantaloupe.
11. Doctors say there are over seven million people struggling with obesity. These, of course, are round figures.
12. My slingshot got confiscated during algebra; the professor said it was a weapon of math disruption.
13. Did you hear about the red ship that collided with a blue ship? Both crews were marooned.
14. It was an emotional wedding: even the cake was in tiers.
15. I tried to Google "impotence" but nothing came up.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. When it comes to grammar, double negatives are a no-no.
18. I saw a theatre performance about puns. It was a play on words.
19. My father sent ten puns to the newspaper's pun contest, certain at least one would be good enough to win- but no pun in ten did.
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