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19 Awe-Inspiringly Perfect Moments Of Historical Sass

BOW DOWN to the sass-masters of the past.

1. “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” — Groucho Marx

Columbia PIctures / Via goodreads.com

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2. “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” — Winston Churchill

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3. “[Ernest Hemingway] has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” — William Faulkner

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4. “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” — Mark Twain

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5. “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” — John Bright

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6. “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” — Paul Keating

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7. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” — Oscar Wilde

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8. “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” — Billy Wilder

World of Wonder Productions / Via lanaboards.com

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9. “He had delusions of adequacy.” — Walter Kerr

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10. “[They use] statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts- for support rather than illumination.” — Andrew Lang

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11. “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” — Mae West

Bravo / Via thefamedriven.com

Mae wrote this line for her character in Belle of the Nineties 1934.
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12. “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” — Forrest Tucker

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13. “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” — Charles, Count Talleyrand

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14. “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” — Samuel Foote

Screen Gems / Via lunaneko14.tumblr.com

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15. “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” — Stephen Bishop

NBC / Via giphy.com

This was also quoted in “I’m So Miserable” by Billy Ray Cyrus.
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16. “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” — Moses Hadas

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17. “There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” — Jack E. Leonard

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18. “They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” — Thomas Brackett Reed

World of Wonder Productions / Via forums.saiyanisland.com

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19. “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of anyone I know.” — Abraham Lincoln

Adult Swim / Via forums.jetnation.com

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