Julien Blanc And Rape Culture
Julien Blanc isn't the first modern male to treat women as an obstacle to conquer through coercion, nor is he the first to profit from it. To blame him for creating this culture is absurd; he's perpetuating what already exists. He grew up in this culture and has been supported by likeminded men and women. Peeling back his story will help to uncover the perpetuation of rape culture and lead us on a path to solutions.
I want to start by addressing whether or not he has the right to his views, to speak his views, and to promote his ideas. In America, he does and he should. Does that mean that private venues like hotels should allow him to host conferences where he promotes his ideas? If they want to support his ideas and own it, sure. However, they shouldn't be surprised if people offended by Blanc no longer give them business.
I am thrilled to see an international outcry to ban Blanc from speaking in several countries, as is those countries' right, and to see Jennifer Li's petition on change.org to encourage hotels to avoid booking him in the U.S. So kudos and please keep spreading the word. Blanc is on the road to committing sexual assault and one can only hope he changes his perspective, and soon. There is a lot of information supporting that sexual offenders will repeat their actions. But my hope is that, maybe if caught or called out early enough, they can change their ways.
So how does someone like Blanc, at the young age of 25, profit from promoting sexism and racism? Well first you need some young men who want to meet girls. Easy enough. There's nothing inherently wrong with young men wanting to date and learn how to successfully communicate with women. What's mindboggling is how little most young men seem to know about how to communicate and treat women in the first place.
Blanc's course teaches men that men need to manipulate women because women don't know what's good for them. The only way to get a woman interested in you is to trick her into it or make it difficult for her to refuse you. Acting aggressive may be all you need to do. It could be as simple as giving her a command like, "Come here," instead of asking her or silently hoping she will come to you.
The young men who follow Blanc don't have enough self-esteem to believe that a woman could be interested in them just because of who they are. They learn to target women who are naïve or lack self-esteem and to manipulate a more confident woman to bring her down to that level.
Let's back it up even further. Why don't these young men have self-esteem and why do they lack the cultural education necessary to socialize with women?
I think about how I was raised and there was very little talk of sex in general. I was never told to come forward if anyone touched me inappropriately as a child. It was assumed I would learn about birth control, sexuality, and dating through friends, school, books, the internet; everything and anything except a conversation with my parents. Their parents didn't have a conversation with them, and they turned out just fine (so it goes). I believe this is pretty typical of baby-boomer parents for obvious technological and cultural reasons. The younger, better informed generations have an obligation to give the next generation a better culture.
I wasn't the type of kid or teen to start a conversation about sex with my parents. Because no one in my family brought it up, the conversation was never had. Sure, when the news came on and a local reporter discussed date rape and roofies, sexual predators and the internet, and so on, my dad made a comment along the lines of, that's why you shouldn't drink if you're underage, or, you can't just leave your drink sitting around. I wouldn't call that victim blaming but it certainly demands that a victim behave a certain way or consequences are inevitable. Perpetrators were simply creeps and perverts, from what I gathered. So you can imagine this outlook might create a sense of false security for a young woman around guy friends and acquaintances she's known for years and come to trust. Unfortunately, most sexual offenders know their victims and prey on them using the knowledge they've learned over time about their behaviors and vulnerabilities, hence making them a predator. My dad's sparse advice directed at the television anchor wasn't enough to prevent me from ending up in unsavory situations ill prepared.
Two conversations need to happen within the community and, ideally, at home and they need to happen with both boys and girls:
1.It is never okay to manipulate, harass, or coerce anyone regardless of their gender. Here's what that looks like and you shouldn't do it ever.
2.Here's what it looks like when someone is trying to manipulate, harass, or coerce you and it is not going away. If someone treats you this way, you are a victim of something very sinister in our culture and it is in no way your fault. Nor should you dismiss it. And hopefully you can find the strength and courage to come forward.
These need to be ongoing and in-depth conversations that cross gender lines, discourage bullying, prevent hazing, and create a cultural environment where sexual harassment is so blatantly definable and obvious to all. The only way to change our culture is to continue to create petitions against people like Blanc, continue to have a voice on social media, and continue to write thought-provoking articles about this topic. Please do what you can to become a part of the solution.
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