5 Pop Diva Prayers You Need In Sinful, Dirrty Life

Sinners unite! #BUYLOTUS.

1. LISTEN UP, IN ORDER TO BE FORGOTTEN + FORGIVEN FOR YOUR HORRID SINS FOLLOW THESE DIRECTIONS.

2. First, form a prayer circle composed of people wearing white on a pier in Santa Monica.

3. Now, recite each prayer thrice daily.

4. Begin with sweet lady Beysus.

6. If you own ARTPOP, then say this prayer. If you don’t own ARTPOP, skip it. There is no point.

7. NOW LEST WE FORGET GODTINA.

11. Then, just smoke a joint for your girl, Rihsus. That’s all she asks for.

12. Put on some Lana Del Rey. Cry a little. Then turn it off.

13. Lastly, and most importantly, the one true QUEEN, GODNEY. GET ON YOUR KNEES AND WORK BITCH.

Say this one 8 times. All with be forgiven, I swear. Even Britney Jean.

14. To wrap things up, say a few words for Nicki Minaj. Lord knows she needs it.

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