3. Masturbation extraordinaire.
7. Lover of everything frilly and pink.
9. And hater of those who sniff belly buttons.
10. Ladies & gentleman, the late + great, fabulous & also outrageous, Anna Nicole Smith.
11. Anna Nicole taught us that food comes first.
12. The proper pronunciation of cabana.
14. Ask for help when you need it.
17. And MASTURBATE. Always masturbate.
18. She was skeptical of the sun.
20. She said that instead of working out you should paint.
22. Penises ARE funny. You know, dick.
23. Tattoos hurt.
25. Like a true legend, go to a tattoo parlor and force your assistant to get a tattoo of your face.
27. And also love your family.
28. Her talented + influential cousin, Cousin Shelley, fit right in.
30. Anna also taught us to be open.
31. She didn’t take any bullshit from Howard.
33. And even more importantly, avoid crawling through chairs because you’ll probably get stuck.
34. Anna Nicole showed us its okay to suck on a pile of jello jigglies.
35. It’s okay to fake an orgasm.
38. But seriously, in all honesty, Anna Nicole was genuine.
39. She was legitimately hilarious.
41. She knew why dogs were better than men.
To wrap things up…
45. Miss you, Anna Nicole. You were the best.
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