
Source: ilovecharts.tumblr.com
replace “You're Dying” with “Too stoned to function” and replace “You're Dead” with “You're in Jail”. my mommy is lucky to haz me.
thats hilarious, my mother actually takes it to the next level and freaks when I finally answer or call back telling me she was getting ready to call the cops because she wasn't sure what happened to me.
This is why my mother always answers the phone with, “So, you are still alive.”
Welcome to my life…
oh my gosh this is so true
You forgot “Convinced you no longer love them and are avoiding them.” I love my mama to death but goddamn the woman calls me like 3 times a day to see how I am and what I'm doing. AND I LIVE WITH HER SO SHE SEES ME ALL THE TIME. She's convinced when I send her to voicemail that I hate her; she never considers that I could be, oh I dunno, working?
My parents split it into “Dead”, “dying”, “Uncovered the big family secret and has moved to Iowa and changed her identity to avoid us” and “Sleeping”.
Just wait until you have children some day and not like this ever happened to you but they go out Christmas break, come home and fall on the floor and your father has to clean up the barf. It's not like you've ever given us reason to believe you are in church and have your phone turned off. Love you much!
you forgot … jail
But what if you were actually dying?
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