1. You turn on your computer and connect to the internet.
4. Just kidding your mom just picked up the phone.
5. You try again…
6. You’re in.
7. The first thing you do is sign onto AIM.
11. Oh well, I guess this means you can burn that CD you’ve been meaning to make.
14. No more procrastination. It’s homework time. You open Encarta and search for “sea cucumbers”.
15. NO RESULTS.
You can’t do your homework now. Great.
17. DAMMIT MOM.
18. WHY CAN’T WE GET A SECOND LINE?
21. OK, so you want to look at some porn.
22. BUT THE INTERNET IS SO SLOW THAT THE PICTURE WON’T LOAD.
23. Fuck that. I guess you’ll have to settle for some Oregon Trail.
25. And then Nicole gets dysentery.
That was fun.
28. So you try to download a song. You search and see there are so many results!
29. You find what you want. It’s going to take an hour for this one song.
30. 2.5 hours later…
31. It finished!
32. JK IT’S A VIRUS
35. You want to die.
36. You want a new computer but it’s $2400 for this piece of shit.
37. So you just sit there, stare, and hope that the computer will magically work if it “rests” for a while.
- Dylann Roof wants to plead guilty, his attorney said. He is accused of killing nine people at a Charleston church in June.