HOT NEW TREND: Moms on Snapchat. If you’re part of the growing population of children with Snapchatting moms, then you understand what I’m talking about. I’m here to help. And just remember, you are not alone.
There are currently five known stages of MSA (Mom Snapchat Addiction).
STAGE ONE: Introduction. You receive a snap from your mom out of the blue. You think: OK, this is weird, but whatever. This could be cute.
STAGE TWO: Addiction. You’re receiving snaps all of the time. It’s starting to weird you out. Is mom OK?
STAGE THREE: Obsession. She can’t stop. You’re worried. Something is definitely wrong.
STAGE 4: PANIC. She has no filter. She’s sending snaps to all of your friends. An intervention is needed.
There are currently 20 known types of Snapchatting moms. It’s helpful to understand what type of snapper your mom is to get the right treatment. Below is a list of the types.
1. The dick-drawer:
Obviously inappropriate and makes you feel uncomfortable. The ball hair is really the most troubling part.
2. The sleeper:
She lives for the bus, the subway, and large groups of people in confined spaces. You’re worried you’ll get caught and punched in the face some day. It’s not safe.
She lives for the applause. If you don’t snap back, prepare to be berated with single-word snaps.
5. The mom whose snaps make absolutely no sense at all:
It’s all so cryptic.
7. The birder:
She takes blurry pictures of birds in roofs or trees.
8. The snapper who doesn’t think you know what a piano is:
9. The snapper who doesn’t think you know what a sprinkler is:
10. The mom who is constantly snapping you vegetables in hopes that you’ll start eating them:
GOD, I GET IT MOM. LEAVE ME ALONE.
11. The mom who sends passive aggressive snapchats of your father controlling the remote control:
12. The mom who is always exercising with grandma and her friends:
13. The “bored at work” mom:
She takes pictures where she pretends she’s sleeping. She’s not.
16. The mom who snaps pictures of your sleeping grandmother:
That’s kind of mean, mom. Also hilarious.
18. The mom who speaks in a different language:
Great googly moogly!!