56 Things I Learned At The Biggest Christian Music Festival In The World

100,000 Christians and I spent the weekend together at Mount Agape Farm in Western Pennsylvania for the 34th annual Creation Fest.

1. National Pro-Life Cupcake Day is on October 9.

On National Pro-Life Cupcake day you’re supposed to make as many cupcakes as possible and hand them out at church/school/everywhere in remembrance of all the kids who could never have a birthday because of abortion.

2. Every single secular product has a God product rip-off.

My personal favorite was “God Armor”, a rip off of Under Armor.

3. A pickle is the mascot for pulling up your pants for Jesus.

4. Some Christians are apparently really into Doctor Who.

This was in front of someone’s campsite.

5. You can pimp out your Bible with Bible cover swag.

They’re also super affordable.

6. Auntie Annie’s is a really Christian company. Their pretzel logo has a halo over it.

They were the only real brand name represented at the festival. All of the other food was basically generic carnival food type stuff.

7. Cool Faith has the best Christian logo.

Priest giving the thumbs up. Perfect.

8. Creation is probably one of the only places where KONY is still taken seriously.

They had a donation box set up which was FILLED with cash. I saw a bunch of twenties.

9. This is the guy that makes all of those outrageous, borderline offensive Christian bumper stickers.

All the stickers were free. He took donations.

10. Christians are really against casinos.

The CA “SIN” O ran out pretty fast. I didn’t grab it the first time I saw it and I’m still pissed about that.

11. The genital warts one was the least popular.

It’s just too much.

12. Actually, this stand was the ONLY place in the entire festival where there was something anti-gay.

This lone bumper sticker. That was all. Otherwise I didn’t see ANY mention of anything gay the entire time. I even saw two lesbians!

13. Abortion seems to be the biggest issue for everyone at Creation.

This young, handsome guy was there to encourage people to register to vote. The more Christians registered to vote = more pro-life votes.

14. These babies were really popular.

Wristbands were also really popular. It seemed like every stand had some sort of free wristband to give away.

15. The best/creepiest “Scripture Tag” was the one of the lady hugging words.

A Scripture Tag is a dog tag… but scripture.

16. 23 seconds.

17. No one really ever goes to the prayer tent.

There were two of them and they were mostly empty.

Not sure why, it had a pretty sweet fountain.

18. This exists.

19. As does this.

20. The water sprayers had the best/sweetest job at Creation.

There were a bunch of people like this guy who just sprayed water on the crowd all day.

21. Being labeled a Jesus Freak is now a positive thing.

“Jesus Freak” was everywhere. I saw so many people with these shirts on. It was also on the back of a bunch of cars.

22. You can find free prayer and hugs are everywhere.

SO. MUCH. FREE. PRAYER. Everyone had shirts that said “free prayer”. There were also SO MANY “free hugs” shirts/signs. It got annoying after a while hugging/high fiving people.

Also “someting”.

23. There is a company called “Live Offensively” whose sole purpose it is to create products that are offensive.

This is their company motto: “Here we believe that Christians are in the midst of a great spiritual war that rages every day. Our convictions are not to be defensive but rather offensive to the culture and the community around us. We want to press into the darkness and bring light wherever there is no light. We want to expose the lies of our enemy and bring God’s truth to our generation.”

24. (Some) Christians don’t like Mr. Rogers.

I had no idea!

25. CLEANEST PORT-A-POTTIES EVER.

Seriously, I’m becoming kind of a port-a-potty expert, and the port-a-potties at Creation were definitely the cleanest I’ve ever been in. It definitely has something/everything to do with their being no drinking allowed. Game changer. A+++++

It’s also totally normal to have your own private port-a-potty at Creation.

It was fairly common for campsites to have their own port-a-potties.

26. AIDS in Africa is a really big thing for Christians.

They had this seriously incredible exhibit where you could follow the story of a little kid in Africa through a maze.

You ended the exhibit by finding out if you had HIV or not. Luckily I did not.

27. Hallelujah Highway is a seriously amazing name for a road.

There was also a “Rapture Street”.

28. Awesome Grillmasters Lounge is also an amazing name for a food place.

Only VIPs and artists could get food from this place, though. It was behind the main stage.

29. Watch out for stray water balloons.

During the day some people launch water balloons from the top of the hill with the crosses. Watch out for that.

30. Never hand out your own literature at Creation.

It’s against the rules. This blurry picture is of some guys on golf carts stopping two guys from handing out flyers. Everything needs to be pre-approved.

31. A grill on the back of a semi-truck is a great idea.

Just because.

32. Exists.

33. “Poop On Satan” is the best Christian bumper sticker ever.

34. “Honk if you love Jesus” needs to be retired.

Saw it on sooo many cars. More creativity, people!

35. Creation is probably 70% teenagers.

So many youth groups.

36. Never go on your honeymoon to Creation.

See #35. So many tweens.

37. Christian album covers can be really cool.

It’s a pug wearing sunglasses (!!!!)

38. She’s my favorite Christian popstar.

39. Jesus has the best Facebook.

40. Carrie Underwood has the best wall post.

41. If you want to get a good seat, you have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning.

Everyone is allowed to place a tarp down in front of the main strage at 5:30 AM. You can leave the tarp there all day and don’t even have to be there at all. That will be your spot for the better concerts at night.

42. “Rock For Life” has, by far, the best anti-abortion mascot.

It’s a baby playing guitar! Unfortunately, the guitar kind of looks like the baby’s penis.

43. Slugs & Bugs is the 2nd best Christian kids singer’s name.

The best is “The Donut Man”.

44. Christian yoyos exist.

Real thing.

45. There are also Christian card games.

They’re like Magic cards… but Christian.

46. And an Apples to Apples Bible edition.

47. Writing in a journal is a really popular thing to do at Christian music festivals.

So many people writing all the time. There would be music blasting and people writing in the journals like nothing was happening around them.

48. The seminars can be really emotional.

During this guy’s session, a young teenager came up to the stage to say that he was struggling with forgiving his molester. Another young girl talked about her struggles with self-harm.

49. You might be seeing a lot of black painted pinky nails soon.

Apparently some guy is starting a “paint your nail black for Christ” revolution.

50. YOLO is EVERYWHERE.

51. Every car should have a redneck window.

52. Not cursing or using the Lord’s name in vain for 2 days is unbelievably hard.

It was really hard to switch all my “Oh My Gods” to “Oh My Goshes”. It was also pretty funny to hear grown men say “Oh My Gosh” all the time. I kind of really like it, though. I think I’m converted.

53. Mosh pits at Creation are called “peace pits”.

Christian teens are really into mosh pits. They get really rough.

54. Never get a “$1 Giant Pickle On A Stick”.

It’s just too much pickle.

55. Watching someone be “born again” is pretty powerful.

About 300 people were baptized at Creation in a pond on the grounds. The crowd was pretty huge, too. It’s pretty cool to watch because it feels important. I think my feet were also baptized because they were in the water. I’m not really sure how that works.

56. Even Christians are getting tired of Creed.

Also check out my other Creation Fest posts:

57.

LINK

Creation Fest Vs. The Gathering Of The Juggalos

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57.

LINK

The Ultimate Creation Fest Fashion Guide

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